Demystifying the Dance Floor

 

Ok, friends, I haven't posted a dance blog for months.  I try to hold off because I know sometimes I come across a little strong?… passionately enthused? boisterously bliss-filled? when it comes to dance stuff.  I think dance is close to one of the best things ever invented, but I know lots of people don't feel that way.  I get it.  Dance can be scary for plenty of reasons.  I'm going to address some of these and hopefully give you a little more confidence the next time you hit the hardwood.

These tips will keep you on your toes… and off everyone else's.

 

Problem: You have no idea what you're doing (choreography)

Dudes: Don't let it deter you.  At a lot of dance places there's a lesson before free dance starts.  If you missed the lesson, just ask someone who looks like they know what they're doing.  It's a win/win/win - that person feels cool because they're showing you their moves/your dance partner's impressed you want to learn/ you learn a new move!  

Ladies: Follow as well as you can.  If a guy's worth his salt, he'll be polite and not give you a hard time.

Problem: You have no idea what you're doing (dance etiquette)

Dudes: If you follow these instructions, it is not unlikely that you'll have girls talking about you behind your back (in the best way).

1. Don't be a creepstar.  The quickest way for me to explain this is give a girl some space.  Unless you're married to her, engaged to her or dating her, don't dance like a PBJ sandwich stuck together.  It's weird, and we don't like it. 

2. Ask us our name at the beginning and thank us for the dance at the end.  Simple. 

3. Take our hand and lead us on and off the dance floor. 

4. Don't ask us to dance 3 songs in a row (unless the whole married/engaged/dating thing applies).  Give us a break and come back after half an hour or so if you really want to.

5. Pay attention to steering.  It's your job to not ram us into people, so pay attention to where you're going. 

6. Take breaks for a few basics steps between combos.  It's fine if you're a pro, but sometimes we get dizzy spinning our craniums into muddled confusion. 

Ladies: I don't really know if guys will talk about you (do guys talk to each other?) if you do these things, but I know they'll appreciate them.

1. Don't turn them down unless you have a darn good reason.  It took them a lot of courage to ask you, so unless your ankle is broken or he's a total creepstar, dance with the guy.

2. Laugh it off if he makes mistakes, be gracious.

3. If he's the best twirler/leader/dipper you've ever danced with, tell him.  Be a life giver with your words.

4. Let him lead.  Relax.  Chill out.  Have fun.

5. Wear clothes that make sense for dancing.

Problem: Dancing is dangerous

Dudes:  If you're trying a lift/aerial for the first time, think first - what's the floor made of?  Do I need someone to spot just in case?  Is this girl capable of doing this lift? 

If you drop a girl, it's probably not the end of the world.  Make sure she's all right.  Do what you need to do as far as common sense - 911, don't move her, get her a glass of water - depending on how hard she fell.  Your job is to do the move as accurately and safely as you can, but it's not all your fault if you drop her.  At that level of dancing, she knew what she was getting herself into.

Ladies: If you dance for a while, you're likely to get dropped at least once.  I can probably count on one hand the times I've been dropped.  Just remember, the guys feel terrible, and you might bruise.  The moral of the story is, if you don't feel comfortable doing a move, don't do it, or at least make sure you're on a forgiving surface with a spotter and you're dancing with a knowledgeable guy.

Problem: Getting from the wallflower wasteland to the dance floor

Dudes: This is your job.  I feel more strongly about this than most normal people, but you can ask most of my dance friends and they know I vehemently loathe standing on the wall not dancing.  I don't usually ask guys to dance, but I will now and then.  I know that it takes a lot of guts to ask a girl to dance, so bravo to you.  Here's a little tip - girls will almost always say yes, so remember you're walking into a situation in which you will most likely be successful.  What to say?  If you feel comfortable being clever or funny, that's fine, but a standard "Would you like to dance" is always classy and perfectly acceptable. 

Ladies: You have two options - ask or be asked.  I belong to the old school and prefer to be asked to dance, but every now and then I'll ask someone to dance.  If you are waiting to be asked, location and body language are the keys.  Don't be inaccessible - duh.  If you want to dance, stand close to the dance floor.  As for body language, don't look intimidating - crossed arms, hands on hips, wide stance, disappointed-you-aren't-dancing face.  Chill out and stop being terrifying.

In sum - relax and have fun.  I realize that things like dancing get more fun with practice as you figure out what the heck you're doing out there.  There are also people out there who just don't like to dance.  While I can't exactly understand, I can sort of stretch my imagination because there are things I don't like - olives being the prime example.

Summer love to you, unless you live in Australia,

Little Miss Sunshine

Interviews on the Dance Floor: Neal Ozmun

Dear Blog Friends,Today, I have the pleasure of hosting an interview on iLoveMornings!  My special guest is Neal Ozmun, a friend from college.  He shares my love for dance, so I asked him to share a little about his personal experiences and dancing from a guy's perspective.  Thanks, Neal!
Little Miss Sunshine

- Name 
Neal Ozmun
- Age 
24
- Occupation 
Assistant Soccer Coach at OBU
- So when did you pick up dancing?
About this time last year.
- You're pretty active, right?  
I played soccer in high school and college. I love to go hiking, paddling, play any sport. I just want to stay active
- So why do you dance? 
It’s the best. I enjoy learning and there is a lot of learning to do when it comes to dancing. Country music is great. And call it stupid if you want, but I just like to put my boots on.
- Haha.  I feel the same way.  They're like the shoe version of a comfort food for me.  What kind of spectrum does your dance experience cover? 
I was in Tiger Tunes my senior year. I tried a little swing here and a little salsa there, but there aint nothing better then two-steppin. My experience is a little different then I’d say most people. I learned to dance at the Electric Cowboy in Fayetteville, AR. A group of friends wanted to go check it out. We always go together. We never go to that place by ourselves because its not exactly the place you go to find a cute dance partner. If you’ve ever been there, you understand. But we would always go right at 7:30 when it opened. It was free at that time, and they have dance lessons. So we would go for cheap and to learn more. We have gone to Caravan’s Cattle Company in Tulsa as well, but still as a group. I have never gone to a place without a dance partner, or group of guys and gals.
- Sounds like an impressive little posse you have there.  In general, would you say guys see dancing more as an athletic challenge, a tool for wooing women or an expression of fine art? 
I would think its mostly for being in a great social atmosphere. Yes it is a great way to hang out, and if you’re really good, woo. Plus country music is great. So its winning for sure.
- So if you happen to hypothetically be without your posse and you walk into a room full of strangers, how do you pick out a girl to ask to dance?
Like I said I have not been in this situation before, BUT I would be looking for a lady a) in boots b)modestly dressed and c)not in the center of a big group

- No kidding on b.  They should teach that in dance lessons.  You're just not going to want to stop and adjust your wardrobe while you're twirling and dipping.  What's something that drives you crazy when you're dancing with a girl?

Them trying to lead. I was not taught how to follow. It is really hard to move around the floor, let alone do anything fancy when there are two leaders.

- Absolutely.  So aside from following well, what's the best way to be the optimum dance partner?

Don’t care if you mess up. Laugh it off and keep going. Be polite. Smile. And be able to keep time.

- Confession time… have you ever dropped a girl?

Nope! I have however hit her in the forehead with my arm, stepped on her, and missed her hand on a move, but my towers/candlesticks have been successful.

- That's a pretty good record.  Do you have any particular future dancing aspirations?

I would like to know what else I can do. I am still learning move for two-step, triple-two, and waltz. I want to travel to different states and see how dancing is different there.

- Impressive.  Would you say dance as a social activity is growing or declining among young people?

In Arkansas it is hard to tell because about the only place you can go is the EC. And that is not super inviting to young people.
- Hmmm, yeah, venue can be an unfortunate challenge.  Anything you have that you'd like answered while we're here?

What do you/ladies look for in a partner? Either when picking a partner out or while dancing.  What are some common etiquettes that I may not know?

- Every girl's a little different, but there are some generalities that apply here.  All the things you listed - laugh off mistakes, smile, be polite, keep time, lead - are things we value too.  I rarely ask guys to dance, but while I wait, I watch and get an idea of who I'd like to ask me to dance.  Obviously being a good dancer is great.  Call us shallow, but we don't mind if you're good looking either.  We like guys who are gentle, who remember they're dancing with a girl, not playing sports.  Guys who hold girls tight are creepy unless they're dating you or something.  Be good at steering.  I realize it's hard to navigate and lead and figure out triple turn combinations, but it's nice if you can watch out where you're leading us.  

As far as etiquette, I appreciate it when a guy asks me my name and thanks me for the dance when it's over.  It's nice when a guy takes my hand and leads me onto the dance floor.  That is something little, but it shows me that he is confident in leading.  

Thanks so much for your input!  

LMS

So You Think You Can't Dance?

If you had somehow peered into a crowded venue in my corner of the world blaring banjo and fiddle, you'd have seen my happy soul whirling and dipping.  Expressing how much I like dancing is about as difficult for me as expressing the principles of calculus.  You'll just have to take it on faith that I like it a whole heaping lot and if I had to choose between apples and chocolate or dancing, I'd pick dancing, and you know how I feel about apples. 

I always love to dance, but some nights are better than others, depending on the crowd, the music, the quality of dancers who ask you to dance, and all that.  Last night was a particularly good night because two of the best dropped in, plus that random guy from Utah, and the swim coach who's always teaching aerials.  I was spun within an inch of my happy life.  In between reading cues and holding in screams that inevitably come from being upside down, I got to thinking.  What are the things that make it easier to dance?  If I were to teach someone enough to pass for a good dancer what ought they know, a sort of choreographical Pygmalion, if you follow. 

Things You Ought to Know if You Think You Can't Dance (but want to, or need to)

1. Feel the beat.  If you can wrap your heartbeat around the rhythm - internalize it so you could walk out the door and keep the beat - you'll be ahead of a fair few.  Guys, although it's not the best case scenario, you can tap our hands as you hold them, or our back if it's gentle and not creepy, if it keeps you on beat. 

2. Hold a hand.  I firmly believe one could dance with only the ring and middle finger.  If you can anchor those two in the center of your partner's palm and use it as a pivot point for turns and basic steps, you'll find it easier to move.  Don't get too hung up on keeping a grip on their whole hand; it restricts movement. 

3. Read.  A fisherman reads a lake to figure out where the fish are.  A pirate reads a map to figure out where the treasure is.  A volleyball player reads the court to figure out where to defend.  (I'd give you a basketball analogy, but you'd just be more confused than helped.)  A dancer reads their partner to figure out their comfort level with the moves, their rhythm and patterns.  It is rare that a dancer (guy) doesn't have a certain set of favorite moves.  If you can figure those out and start reading them a little, you'll follow better. 

4. Keep yourself on your toes.  Literally and figuratively, stay on your toes.  Literally, when you're turning, get on the balls of your feet.  You'll turn more fluidly.  Don't go around walking on your toes.  (That's #4 on the list of How to Look Like a Weirdo.)  Do turn and transition on your toes.  Figuratively, pay attention.  Guys, pay attention to the level of expertise your girl has.  Teach her something new, but don't dance at a level way over her head.  She'll feel dumb.  Girls, pay attention to your guy's cues.  Some are stronger cue-ers than others. 

5. Don't look at your feet.  I am guilty of this all the time, but don't do it!  If you're dancing with a talker and you can manage it, talk to them.  Look over their shoulder.  Look deeply into their eyes… or not.  Avoid the feet. 

6. Smile.  Don't look like you're deep in thought constipation trying to match footwork and rhythm.  Don't knit the brows.  Don't stick out the tongue in concentration.  Smile. 

7. Don't stop believin.  Have a little confidence.  I've met very few people who I'm convinced are a lost cause on the dance floor.  If you can clap and count to 4, you can dance.  

There you have it, six things you can take to the bank and cash in for dance success.  If you have more to share, let me know and I'll add them to the list.  Dancing is social, and the process of learning should be too.

Happy dancing,

Little Miss Sunshine

If You're Gonna Play in Texas, You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band

 

Long before I arrived in Texas, it had been decided that my friend Liz, and I would go two-stepping.  This is only unusual for one reason.  Before this summer, Liz was not a country music fan.  She's a dancer to the core, but Keith Urban and Tay Swift were not on her list of iPod favorites.  All that changed when, well, I don’t know what miracle occurred, but now she's all about fiddle and banjo.  

I consulted my resident experts, and the verdict for a Wednesday night of two stepping was "Cowboys" in Arlington.  (Now, mothers, grandmothers and concerned aunts, know that I don't set my pretty painted toes inside a bar to get sloshed, smashed, wasted, etc., etc.  If it is even conceivable to go to a bar and not drink, conceive that thought in your kindly concerned minds, because I go to two step, not two fist.) 

Liz and I went (got lost) and met Cody and some of his friends there.  In Cody's praise, he's not much of a country or dancing fan, but he's a good sport and came along.  All this fall and summer, I've been two stepping in AZ, so I was excited to see if I actually knew anything, or if there was a whole other universe of real Texas two stepping.  We walked in and crinkled our noses at the smoke.  I haven't been in an indoor venue that allows smoking in years.  I thought that was a little 20th century of them, but we forged ahead.  Cody introduced us to his friends and we stood around and talked a little. 

Now, if you've read my other dance posts, you know I don't go dancing to have nice conversation.  I gave Liz and Cody some of my strategy, and they looked at me amusedly.  Going dancing is a lot like fishing, except that you act as both the bait and the fisherwoman.  You should smell nice and look nice- not shady, just nice.  You have to pick good fishing spots that aren't too crowded by other people fishing.  This means staying away from large clusters of girls, but don't pick remote corners either.  You have to keep your hands free in case someone wants to dance with you and he needs to take your hand and get on to the dance floor post haste.  Cody was surprised at that, but I assured him it happens.  Sometimes twirling your hair or doing other (cute/dumb) things has the effect of a fishing lure with a lip to make it skim across the water - eye catching. 

After this brief tutorial, I pointed out a spot I thought was perfect for tipping the odds in getting asked to dance - a stool on the edge of the dance floor where I could watch the dancing but be next to the walkway.  I told them to watch and wait.  Sure enough, as soon as the song ended and people came streaming off the dance floor in search of their next partner, presto, there he was.  "He", we'll call him Mr. Teal Shirt Guy, or Mr. T for short, wasn't a cowboy, wasn't originally from Texas, and probably wasn't originally from America.  He was slightly creepy and had an accent I couldn't place. 

Nevertheless, following my rule, I said yes.  Good thing I did, too, because that guy could dance.  Mr. T flatteringly declared me one of the best dancers there.  His personal space bubble was a little small, but I figured with Cody and his friends around, there wasn't reason for real concern.  He asked me to dance a couple other times that night, which is sort of against general protocol, but some people don't know about general protocol.  At that juncture, a girl has to make some decisions.  Dance with the great dancer who's slightly creepy, or sit on the sidelines?  That's up to you, but I danced. 

As soon as I came off the floor from dancing with Mr. T, I resumed my post and promptly got asked to dance by the guy holding up the pillar opposite me.  His name was RJ and he was huge.  When I say huge, I mean probably 6'5" and muscles the size of Samson.  He had similar transitions to the ones I've seen in AZ, which made him easy to follow.  He didn't say much, but we danced a couple times.  

  [Perhaps this would be a good time to note that guys who are not 6'5" with muscles like Samson should not feel incapable of being a memorable dance partner.  That's silly.  It's just like when you tell your friends about that gorgeous blonde you met at the gym once.  It's just a descriptor, not a condition for being awesome.]

Between these dances, I sat and talked to Liz and Cody or Cody's friends.  Some of Cody's roommates asked me to dance and gee whiz, they knew what they were doing on the dance floor.  They had all kinds of cues (that I kept missing), but they were nice about it.  I also danced with Cody, who completely downplays his dancing talents.  There were line dances and hip hop breaks and general merriment all night.  We quit about, well, sometime before 1, and went home. 

There's just something about fiddle and banjo and boots and twirling and dipping that makes life great.  My first experience with real Texas two stepping was a good one, and I have a hunch there will be a return to it before too long.  Thanks to Cody for being our bodyguard and Liz for falling in love with country music. 

Just remember, girls, boys are fish; you are fisherwomen and bait.  I don't mean bait in a slimy, sparkly chartreuse Power Bait sort of way, more like a clean lined bass lure with a little lip sort of way.  Don't fish where it's crowded, but stay in sight of friends in case you reel in a fish you can't handle and need a little assistance.   

Love and banjo,

Little Miss Sunshine

Dear Ladies, Some Advice from the Man You're Dancing with

In my last post, I addressed some things to the guys we dance with.  Do smell good, do ask us to dance even if you're not amazing, don't throw us like yoyos, etc.  I thought it only fair to write to the other half of the dancing population.  Being  a girl, and not having the corner market on male mind analysis, I outsourced.  This is an expanded version of what the men I talked to had to say.

Dear Ladies,

1. Follow the leader.

Dancing is not a three legged race.  The party of the first part and the party of the second part do not have equal… parts.  It is the man's job to lead and the lady's job to follow.  I know, you're a 21st century liberated, accomplished woman and you don't need a man to lead you around by the hand.  Well, this is dancing, not the office, so let the man lead.  I don't care if you've studied under George Balanchine, don't try to take over.  It'll make you both look bad.  Guys aren't opposed to you teaching them a new move now and then, but don't try to compete for the leadership role. 

"Be a good follower, i.e. let the guy lead.

"Just because I'm supposed to be leading doesn't mean I know everything.  If you know something I don't, I'm willing and wanting to learn."

2. Forgive us our peccadillos.

In short, guys feel bad enough when they step on our toes or have choreographical freeze ups without us giving them dirty looks.  To quote my sources…

"Be ok with laughing off mistakes."

"We will step on your feet.  Every time.  Please don't get angry when we do."

Give them some grace.  They're trying to figure out how to lead, where to twirl you next, and whether or not a dip is appropriate.  When it comes to the question of "are we human or are we dancers" (thanks, Killers) the answer is human. 

3. Flash us a smile.

There's a lot of pressure on guys when they dance with you.  As mentioned above, they’re attempting to multitask.  In most cases, men are trying to lead you around the dance floor and treat you like a lady.  They might have two left feet.  They might have never learned what it means to treat a lady well, but they're trying.  I hate to compare our warrior poet/kinsmen redeemer/brave hearted hero brothers to puppies, but when they're trying hard and having some successes, smile at them!  Let them know you appreciate their efforts.  Show them you're having fun!

"Smile, relax, have fun… if you're not having fun dancing, why are you doing it in the first place?"

"SMILE: a good sign he's doing a good job and you're at least having fun even though he's stepping on your feet."

"If you're a better dancer, he probably already knows this and there's no need to make him feel insecure."

4. Come dressed for success.

I can endorse this one with a Sunshine stamp of approval.  From a modesty standpoint, it's important to think about the duds you're donning for a night of dancing.  Don't make guys feel awkward by deep v's down to your belly button.  Not classy.  From a practical perspective, though, think through the kind of outfit you'll need.  Short skirts and passionate twirling do not mix.  Avoid straps that you know will slide down your shoulders, it's annoying.  Don't wear long sleeves and pants in the summer, or you'll be uh, damp, and that's gross. 

"Clothing choice is also something important, not necessarily on the modesty issue, but on the ability of the clothes to facilitate dancing (i.e. not heels or super tight dresses).  Oh, slider shorts are a must."

5. Nod and smile when we ask you to dance.

Ladies, I don't quite understand this phenomenon, but women can scare the bravest of men just by being women.  It's hard for them to ask us to dance.  They sign million dollar contracts, they do open heart surgeries, they take on 300lb linebackers on the field, but when it comes to girls, they get a little weak in the knees.  I know, to us it doesn't seem that complicated.  We want to dance; they ask us to dance; we say yes, but the poor guys are shaking in their boots, so be nice and say yes. 

"Dance with any guy who is brave enough to ask (creepers are an exception)."

"She said yes, I said wow" - Brad Paisley

There you have it, ladies, the inside scoop on what men appreciate on the dance floor.  Thanks to all my inside sources!

Happy twirling,

Little Miss Sunshine

Sources

http://www.goodeveningworld.com/mens-tie-how-to-choose-the-perfect-one/

http://www.merriam-webster.com/

http://www.lyrics007.com/Brad%20Paisley%20Lyrics/She%20Said%20Yes%20Lyrics.html

http://www.metrolyrics.com/human-lyrics-the-killers.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Balanchine

Dear Gentlemen,

Last week, I went dancing.  I don't know if you know this, but I love to dance.  When I say love, I mean I'd rather dance than eat.  In my short 23 years, I've danced on my fair share of dance floors, been dropped on my head, and attempted to follow lots of different lead styles.  Along the way, I've discovered some things it would be good for guys to know about dancing with girls. 

Dear Gentlemen,

1. Please do your best to keep all our joints in their appropriate sockets.

Last week, I danced with the strongest lead in the history of my dancing escapades.  I think he downed a Monster/RedBull/Amp/RockStar cocktail for a little liquid courage before he asked me to dance.  The kid was dancing double time and flinging me to the far corners of the earth like a professional yoyo stunt man.  I quickly developed a coping technique that involved anticipating his next move so that my shoulder would stay properly attached to its socket. 

Here's the deal, guys.  We like a strong lead.  We like to know where we're going, and we're not exactly fragile, but we do appreciate a little gentleness.  It's even OK if you spend some time not dipping/twirling/aerial-ing us.  That's called giving us a breather, and it's absolutely permissible.  We and our ball and socket joints salute you. 

2. All you have to do is ask.

When I go dancing, I like to, um, dance.  I would say that's what most girls like to do when they "go dancing".  I know asking girls to dance is scary and what if we say no and you have inner manly man insecurities, etc., etc.  Be of good courage, men.  We want to dance with you.  Although I can't give it a 100% Sunshine Guarantee, there will be few circumstances under which you will get rejected when you ask a girl to dance.  These might include… recent hip replacements, vertigo, sprained ankle or heat stroke.  As all those things are pretty rare, ask away. 

We don't care too much if you're just learning and have to do the same steps for the whole song.  We don't really care if you're shorter than us or don't look like a GQ model.  You don't have to be Mr. Super Suave and whisper sweet nothings in our ears (actually, we'd probably prefer that you didn't).  Just do your best to treat us like ladies, and we'll tell all our friends how lovely it was to dance with you.    

3. Don't talk about other girls.

This should be self-explanatory.  We like to feel like you want to dance with us, not the girl with the long blonde hair that you keep looking at and talking about.  I know this should be obvious, but I include it because it's happened.  The exception to this rule is if you're dancing with a girl who's flirting her boots off and you need to reassure her that you're very happy dating the girlfriend/fiancée/wife you already have. 

4. Lead the way.

A few months ago, I was at a Scottish Highland Ball twirling and galloping my feet off.  To my delight, someone under 75 asked me to dance.  Of course, I said yes (refer to #2, above).  He asked if I knew this particular dance, and I said no, I'd just follow him.  He replied, "Oh, no, don't follow me!"  To this, I discreetly rolled my eyes.

Gentlemen, we don't expect you to be Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly.  We understand you may not be eligible for the next season of So You Think You Can Dance.  What we do expect and understand is you're supposed to lead.  We don't mind tagging along as you try to figure that out.  Even occasionally stepping on our toes is a pardonable offence if you're penitent and trying your best to lead.  We know leading isn't easy, and we know it takes learning.  That said, we have full confidence in your ability to acquire this art, and we expect you to try. 

5. Be a credit to your sex.

Set the bar high for what a girl expects of her next dance partner.  For the sake of clarity, I'll be explicit… smell nice, brush your teeth, don't give us dirty looks when we miss your cues and mess up, smile, ask us our name, thank us for the dance when the song's over.          

We appreciate you and respect the guts it takes to ask us to dance and lead the way.

Most affectionately,

Little Miss Sunshine

A Girl Walks into a Bar...

A girl walks into a bar.

That's where the joke ends and you start laughing because I'm the girl and the bar is a bar where people who are not old yet but are getting there go to get drinks. If you don't know me, you may laugh with incredulity. If you do know me, you may laugh with a knowing twinkle, if you're a type that twinkles when you laugh.

I love to dance. Dance may, in fact, be my most favorite verb, though it may be tied with worship (that's for another blog post). This fact added to the fact that I've watched two dancing movies in the last week resulted in a severe case of dancing fever. [love for dance + dancing movies = Sunshine's dancing fever] A few weeks ago I had gone to a swing dance class and they mentioned that they go over to a particular bar and dance some nights. I kept this in mind.

I googled it, just to check, and sure enough, there it was on the world wide web - as reliable a source of information as your grandma's gossiping neighbor.

The idea was slowly transformed from "this happens on this night" to "I'm doing this, so help me". First, there was the question of a wingman. There was none readily at hand, though I advertised on Facebook, so that matter was quickly settled. SG would be good company, but she feels as giddy about dancing as cats do about baths. I would fly this mission solo.

Then of course, was, what to wear. In solo operations like this that involve dancing with unknown persons, one must walk carefully the line between "why would I dance with a nun" and "why dance with her when I can hit on her". I settled on the one shoulder leopard dress, but put my black teacher cardigan over the top as a precaution until I checked out the situation. A pair of black shoes from SG, and my fishing lure-ish gold earrings and I was set. Upon asking SG if I had enough makeup on, I was asked if I was serious and that I had three times as much as usual.

I tucked my pocket knife into the cuff of my black leggings, along with a $5 bill. In my bag I put another $5, phone and library card - just in case I got knocked out and they needed ID. Host dad Ian gave me a ride and told me to call him when I was done.

I marched myself in those doors, determined to do some dancing. Inside I found a few tables, a jazz band, and a bar with about ten people standing around, mostly over 30. No one was dancing. I got myself a lemon lime and bitters, an Aussie classic that's close to ginger ale and tried to lean against the bar with as much nonchalance as I could muster. The guy standing next to me at the bar looked at me, so I moved to the other side, which was closer to the band. I tried to sip slowly, knowing once that drink was gone, I would have nothing to stand around looking nonchalant with.

For a few minutes, I just watched the band. Sometimes I closed my eyes - partly to enjoy the music, partly so I didn't have to think about being in a bar by myself with no dancing in sight.  I even considered dancing by myself, but I had expended enough bravery for one night.  It was just me and the jazz band until Scott stepped into the multi-colored light. He had a few features that could be classified under the "classic creeper" file like the mustache and the slicked hair, but he was a ginger in jeans and skater shoes who could dance, so that made him a little less creepy.

Not one to let other people have all the fun, I walked over to the lady he'd just finished dancing with and did one of my best dumb gush acts ever.

Me: Oh wow, where'd you learn to dance like that?! You guys are really good!

Lady: Oh, you know, just here and there. Do you dance?

Me: I've done a little swing dancing here and there.

Lady: Well, just ask Scott to dance.

Me: Uhhh…

Lady: Scott, come here, what's your name, doll?

Me: Casie

Lady: Scott, this is Casie, and she's done some swing dancing.

Bam. I was dancing. After a couple dances with Scott, who was pretty good, I took a break and talked with one of the band's singers, who invited SG and I up to her house with a promise that she and her husband would show us the Great Ocean Road. Aussies are so friendly.

Next, I danced with Shane, who was probably fifty. He was the dance teacher, and had danced ballet professionally for a few years. Needless to say, he was good.  He kind of looked like this, but with glasses...

Third guy, oh, the third. Well, he tried to be the charm, it just wasn't his gift. He looked a little like the villain from Spy Kids. 

 But hey, I'll dance with anyone. His footwork was less than desirable, but he bypassed my toes, so that's ok. After the two dances I said yes to, he wanted to chat and buy me a drink. I said no. I don't know if that's rude, but I didn't want an actual drink, and I didn't want to be indebted to talk to him for much longer, especially after he asked if I was seeing anyone. (OH DEAR HEAVENS, WHERE'S MY WINGMAN!?)

Last, but certainly not least after Mr. Third, was Alan. Least creepy and youngest, he had some things going for him, including some dancing skills, which included the freeze. Now and then the band would pause, as they do in swing jazz occasionally. Usually you just keep dancing and pick up the beat when the band comes back in. Not Alan, he would actually freeze. Everybody has their quirks.

Sometimes people try to talk to you while live bands are playing. This is not advisable unless you need to say "THERE'S A FIRE" or "I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK" or something really important. In order to be heard, you have to lean in so that you can funnel the soundwaves into the other person's ear, which puts you in closer than usual proximity for stranger conversations. Even then, the conversations usually go something like this, especially if there are accents involved…

Aussie: So, where are you from?

Sunshine: No, this is my first time here.

Aussie: Oh. OK. What state is that in?

Sunshine: Oh… yeah. *nod confusedly*

Aussie: *let's try this again* Have you danced much?

Sunshine: Ya, some swing dancing.

Aussie: Cool, cool. Yeah. So you're from Canada?

At this point, you hope they just ask you to dance or walk away.

Much love,

Little Miss Sunshine

I think your tractor's sexy...

There's a chance I've mentioned this before, but two things I love in life are dancing and country things.  When you combine these two into a night of country western two stepping, I'm in hog heaven, whatever that means.  Big and Rich or Shania are blaring from the speakers and I'm twirling as fast as my black boots will allow.  Mmmm. 

This week, I thought I was doing a brave thing.  Two of my good friends had canceled on me at the last minute (for valid reasons) so I was driving by myself.  In my Don Quixote, adventure seeking sort of way, I started wondering whether any of my other friends would be there.  Going dancing by yourself would be a brave thing, right?  Or stupid?  I wasn't quite sure, but I kept driving and resisted the urge to pull a u-turn and stay home for the night.  As is happened, there was a good group of my friends already there when I arrived.  So much for that. 

We danced and danced and twirled and spun and dipped.  I danced with all the friends, plus a few guys I didn't know.  It's difficult loving dance so much because sometimes there are guys who would be labeled "creepers" who ask you to dance.  There are two problems with this scenario.  The first is, I feel rude saying no to a dance.  It would take a lot for me to turn down a turn on the dance floor, and I'm just not very good at saying nnnnnnn, at saying nnnnnnnn, at saying that word that is opposite of yes.  Second, some of those creepers are incredible dancers.  Take man in black for a minute.  Total creep, just kind of an over the top flirt, etc.  However, MIB is one of the best dancers on the floor.  What's a girl to do?!  Say yes, fly around the room in ecstasy and promptly wash her hands and utter all manner of ewwwwwww sounds in the privacy of the ladies' room?  He didn't ask me to dance, so no trips to the ladies' room for me. 

At this particular venue, there are several kinds of people…

1. The ballroom crowd - those who, by the shake of the hips and the point of their toes, are clearly accustomed to the likes of rhumba, waltz and fox trot, not the corn fields and smell of dairies.

2. The fun crowd - those who come to learn and have a good time because they enjoy dancing (the majority).

3. The true grits - those who came straight from the saddle and had a little cornbread and beans in the truck for dinner on the way.  I danced with one such individual - cue dramatic western movie music.

I was standing in the southwest corner of the room, doing my best to communicate (HULLLLO, I want to dance).  It must have worked because

There I was, not dancing at all,

When a cowboy appeared who was thin and tall.

He asked me to dance, and yes said I,

He led me to the floor and said, My name's Ty.

His hat was as black as a night in Odessa,

Pulled down so low that I had to guess, sir,

What exactly his face looked like .

Dancing with tall, dark cowboys is fine, especially when they smell good, but dancing with the friends is great because you can pause to figure out the lead in to a move or try a new stunt.  Adrenaline is one of my nearest and dearest friends, so I don't mind being flipped, tossed and dipped.  One of the crew particularly likes doing those things, and asked me if I'd try something.  Somehow I went from a cradle hold to imitating Superman flying atop his shoulder, followed by a whirl of whooshing and landing in a dip.  I promptly asked him if I could please do that every day for the rest of my life. 

Other fun things come through watching the pros (usually Type 1, above), or borrowing swing dancing moves from my college days.  That's how I ended up having the centrifugal force joyride of the evening, swinging down around and up, hair sweeping the floor, lungs close to screaming.  It's a good place to be. 

I was committed to leaving at a reasonable hour.  I was.  I really was.  I was going to go home early, clean my room, get a full night's sleep and wake up fresh to finish packing and catch my flight to Dallas.  First it was, OK, one more dance.  Then I had the good fortune of telling that to my friend J and explaining that I had a flight the next morning.  She asked what time my flight was.  11:35?  Ha, she said, you don't need to leave.  She was so right.  Leave dancing or keep dancing?  Is that really a question?  I don't know what I was thinking.  Sleep is so overrated.  Dancing is so underrated.  So I stayed.  We shut the place down again and I was high as a kite for about 48 hours just from twirling and swirling and flying through the air. 

Ahhhhh.  Dancing. 

Love,

LMS

Notes from the dance floor

Wednesday was just one of those great days.  For one, I got to revisit the halls of nerd-dom with my high school friends. Invariably we spend more time talking about philosophy, politics and theology than what we're up to.  We're all in different fields; we have businessmen, engineers, educators, scientists and computer techs.  Seldom does my brain get such a well-rounded workout than when I'm having hearty conversations with my high school friends.  I think people walking by at Starbucks must wonder what's happening when they walk by and hear snatches of "Hume would say…", "what Socrates was really talking about…", "we're isolating the cell that…". 

From there I went straight to African Fusion dance class.  I bought an AmazonLocal deal for 5 dance classes for $10.  I was a happy camper.  The first one I went to was ballet aerobics.  The next day I had muscles sore that I didn't know existed.  So we African Fusioned it up, doing the swimmer, swat, skier, squat, all to the rhythm of African drums. 

Drive home, in the shower, out of the shower, into my mom's cowboy boots, down some caesar chicken salad a la mom, and off to the next bout of dancing. 

[Have I ever mentioned my fiery, burning love for dancing of all sorts?]

I drove with Cait to a little venue where the country music was lilting and the boots were scooting.  We met some friends there and danced the night away.  The company was great, as was the music.  I danced with the friends, which was so fun, and I danced with some guys I didn't know.  The latter experience ranged from slightly creepy to amazing quality of leading and footwork.  Here I would like to take the time to note a few things about dancing in general. 

1. Ask me to dance.  You're working with 97:3 ratio.  For every 100 times you ask me to dance, guys, 97 of them will be a yes.  If it's a no, it means I'm deathly ill, or I think you're a serial creeper.  It drives me crazy when guys sit on the wall and don't dance.  I WANT TO DANCE.  I know you're nervous, but if I can almost guarantee your success in advance, doesn't that help?

2. How do I say "I WANT TO DANCE" without opening my mouth?  I haven't exactly figured this one out.  Would it behoove me to stand with my friends?  Away from my friends?  Hands in the pocket?  Is hands on the hips intimidating?  Look for someone to make eye contact with?  Stare off into the distance?  I think part of it is dancing with all the people you came with.  If people know you aren't tied to one partner, like a husband or siamese twin, they'll probably be more likely to ask you to dance.

3. If you are not a great dancer, that's OK!  Refer to #1 for reassurance.  I want to dance.  Period.  If we just do the 1 move you know, that's OK.  Stop feeling self-conscious and use that energy to focus on getting better. 

4. Notes on wardrobe.  Dancing requires some wardrobe forethought.  If it's going to fall down, ride up, or fall off, don't wear it.  Wear shoes that will stay on with spinning, dipping and flying.  You'll probably sweat, so medium color tones might not be the best choice for the armpits.  It's a tricky business, getting dressed for a dance.  I took a risk and wore my mom's cowboy boots, which were a great stylistic choice, but ended up, eh, rubbing me the wrong way in the heel direction.  (Boots are a great protective measure if you happen to be dancing with beginners who haven't learned to step where your toes aren't.)  Hair is also a tricky one because no one likes getting flicked in the face with long locks.  If you can keep it out of your eyes and have it down, go for it.

5. There will be awkwardness.  Yes, you can have the finesse of a snow leopard, but the likelihood of awkward moments is still high as a hippie.  There will be times that you get asked to dance in the middle of a song, so you're stuck with the decision of whether to take the next song or part ways with a "Thanks for that dance, it was lovely".  Usually you end with that and walk back to whatever wall you were standing against nervously.  There will also be times when someone dances with you for three songs.  That's not a disaster because it means you're dancing.      

Thanks to the crew who went for a wonderful time.  I realized last night how much I enjoy my guy friends.  I've missed hanging out with my college group of guy friends, so it was great to go out and have some fun last night with the hometown crew.  I came home happy and sore of foot, eager to whirl around that dance floor again soon.

Much love and may your dance card always be full,

Little Miss Sunshine