Don't do it. Just don't.

There are some things you just don't do. Every now and then, some crazy person can get away with them somehow, but for the average you and me, it doesn't work. Take wearing plaid and stripes in the same outfit, for example. It just won't work for you. Don't do it. Just stay away. Unless, of course, you're this guy…

Another thing you just don't do is talk honestly about controversial topics like politics, religion or people's problems. It's better to skirt around them and talk instead about something you don't really care about. If you only argue about things that don't matter, no one gets hurt. It's safer that way. Offending people is so, well, offensive.

The same goes for reading books like Radical by David Platt or Zealous Love by the Yankoskis. Stay away. Just think about it. If you read that book and it says something crazy like "care for the widow and the orphan" then you might do something crazy like adopt a child or invite lonely people to dinner. That would be an inconvenience, outlandish, weird.


                

The biggest don't do it is this: don't write God blank checks. Don't tell Him you'll do whatever He wants, whatever He says, go wherever He wants. It's just too dangerous. Stick with statements like, "I will do these things for You" or "You can have all of my Sundays, Tuesday nights, and a week of vacation in the summer to use as You'd like". It's just creating boundaries. Therapists talk about them all the time as a way to keep stuff from taking over your life. You could even give God a list, so He has some ideas of things You'd like to do for Him.  That's reasonable, right?

I mean, what happens if you write God a blank check and He fills in the blank: stop talking about people and start talking to people. That wipes out 75% of your conversation! Conversation infringement, don't do it. Or what if He writes in: store up your treasures in heaven? Heard that one before. Dangerous. You start thinking that way and before you know it, adios to The Gap shopping sprees, no more $50 haircuts, and that new doodlidah you ordered online? Forget it.

Who wants to make such extreme changes to their lives, anyway? That's only for people who are super spiritual like Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. They have the extreme lives covered. The rest of us are free to just show up on Sundays if we want and maybe give our pocket change to a kid who's going on a mission trip. No need to interrupt our lives and go overboard with the whole Jesus thing. It's kinda whatever.

If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?  - Jesus

Little Miss Sunshine