I just woke up from
a fabulous Saturday afternoon nap where I dreamed I was ten minutes away from
my dear friend Sarah's wedding, and I couldn't find my bridesmaid dress
anywhere. Consequently, there were
several others in my closet, but nothing in David's Bridal Peacock Blue. When I snapped out of my fashion disaster
panicked slumber, I felt like I was living in Katherine Heigl's 27 Dresses.
Don't get me wrong,
I love weddings. I had the honor of being in Kat's in
December, went to two in March, and have four back to back coming up at the end
of May, one of which is my brother's.
I've done bridal hair, invented boutonnieres out of centerpieces, lit
candles, blown out candles, made punch and torn up the dance floor (but that
goes without saying). But at some point,
you've got to start asking, hey, where's my
wedding?! When do I get to have a wedding?! I trust that God's going to write my love story, but sometimes I think He's taking too long.
My little brother's
getting married, the littler little
brother is dating a great girl, my friends are dating great guys or married to
them already. Some of them are having
kids, others are doing awesome ministry together or at least being super cute
and couple-y. You know, taking couple
camping trips, taking couple photo shoots, picking out living room paint
colors, all that stuff. Sometimes I look
around and think, geez louise, is there something on my face?! Am I missing something? Did I step out when the couple cards were
dealt so I'm out of the game?
Growing up, I was
always a planner. I remember writing out
a life plan when I was in 5th grade. Of
course, I no longer want to live on a giant farm with my four best friends because
that's called a commune and people will think you're a little off your nut if
you do. Along the way, the plan morphed
into a sort of modified American Dream: Christian Edition where I'd get married
straight out of college, teach a couple years, have a couple kids and be
superwife and supermom for a while. That
was the plan. Well, as you can see, it
hasn't happened yet.
But, if there's one
thing I learned during this year of teaching, it's to hold tight to this
phrase.. Yep, I'll wait while you get out your Moleskine…
You just never know.
Write it down. Circle it.
Highlight it. Turn it into a
piece of graphic art and put it on Pinterest.
You just never know. You might
have five kids in your class who fail a standardized test. You might have parents get mad at you, or
they might want to give you a raise. You
might lose your job at the end of the school year. You might have a kid tell you something so
insightful that you wonder if they really are 8 years old.
Don't think this
applies just to teachers. I'm not the
only one who just never knows. You don't
know either. You might decide to take up
running today. You might receive some
really bad news or some really good news.
You might run into your boss's boss and get to talking about something
innovative you think would improve the company.
You just never know. In this
Information Age, we get tricked into thinking
we know. Wolfram Alpha can tell us all
about the distance to this or that star, the population of Rhode Island, or how
many wives Muhammed had. We can Google
search people we meet and think we know them instead of just stuff about
them. We can read studies and take
classes and follow steps, and it tricks us into thinking we're in charge. Well, here's another little nugget of wisdom…
You aren't in control.
You can try to prove
me wrong with statistics or stories of your plans working out exactly as the
Excel formula said they would. That's
great. I think planning is a good idea, but
don't let it fool you into thinking you're in charge, that you've got life
wired and all figured out.
Here's what I do know.
I am called to be faithful to what He's given me to do. Right now, that's teaching PCs, laughing it
up with my RCWest small group, and occasionally dancing the night away. If I say I love Him, but I don't trust His
timing, do I really love Him at all? If
I say I'm committed to wanting His best for me, but then I question if where
I'm at, do I really believe that His best is best?
Saying you believe
one thing but secretly thinking another is called lying. And you know who you're lying to? Yourself.
James wrote about it like this, except in Greek...
Don’t
fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but,
letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! - James 1:22
(The Message
paraphrase)
If God really knows
how many hairs you have on your head, believe Him to know what's best for
you. After all, Paul says,
So, what do you
think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate
to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing
himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t
gladly and freely do for us? - Romans 8
(The Message
paraphrase)
Do you really think that kind of God would let you slip through
the cracks?
I'm not telling you
it'll be easy. Some days you'll probably
want to eat a pound of chocolate and watch chick flicks all day or … whatever
the guy equivalent is to that. I'm not
telling you that tomorrow you'll meet some amazing person that makes your head
spin and that you'll suddenly have a whole flock of butterflies in your
stomach. Maybe you won't get married
until you're 26 or 31 or 52 or maybe not at all. God's not
formulaic, but He's good. He's not tame,
but He can be trusted to write your love story, however long it takes.
Love,
Little Miss Sunshine
