Dear Little Sister, what I wish I'd known...

I don’t have any little sisters, per se, but I’ve sort of adopted a few over the years.  This post is dedicated to Sarah, Megan, Elizabeth, Jill and Dora - may Truth make you wise and Love make you beautiful. 

Dear Little Sister,

We love feeling lovely.  We braid our hair in crowns.  We buy dangly jangly bracelets.  We parade around in heels.  Even in our most tomboyish moments atop trees or playing 3rd base we want to feel brave and beautiful.  We want it all.  

Well, dear heart, there will come a time when you 

get the wrong haircut

feel fat

have an impossible hair day

develop a condition

get a scar (right knee)

notice your face isn’t symmetrical (my smile is totally crooked)

live through a wardrobe malfunction (the Starbucks incident)

hear a hurtful comment about yourself

don’t get chosen (I hate picking teams to this day)

or any number of other things.  You won’t feel so lovely then.  You’ll think there’s not an ounce of lovely in you, that you’re a pitiable lost cause.  Well, I have good news.  

Beauty is not in the telling.   

Beauty is not in the buying.  

Beauty is in the being.  

Often, we let ourselves get tangled up with loving ourselves or loving people’s opinions or loving the latest book by the latest theologian.  This does not make us lovely.  On the contrary, it makes us rather hideous because it’s not what we were meant to do.  How would you feel if you saw someone using a beautiful porcelain vase to prop a door open?  What if you walked into a kitchen and someone had a Monet painting on the floor as their kitchen rug?  THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S MADE FOR!  (That’s what I’d be hollering, anyway.)  

It’s the same with us. People are never mistakes; we are always miracles.  We are each gifted in unique ways, and are made for a specific calling and purpose.  We are made with hearts hardwired for loving.  We were made for something so much grander than just buying things, attending things, or wishing for things we don’t have.

This grand adventure of loving is where beauty comes from.  It shows up in smiles and the sparkle in your eye that comes from doing what you were meant to do - love people.  It shows up in patience and kindness.  It shows up in self-forgetfulness and generosity.  There’s no bucket of Bobbi Brown that can recreate that.  MAC doesn’t sell blush in “Happiest Smile Because You’re Spending Time with Kids”.  Bare Minerals doesn’t have eyeshadow in “There’s Wonder Afoot and I’m a Part of It”.  

So you want to be lovely?  Here’s the secret.  Love.  It makes you lovely.  Setting aside your own wants and opinions for the sake of someone else makes you lovely.  Giving your time and talent to someone who needs help makes you lovely.  Showing kindnesses to people who are overlooked makes you lovely.  I know, you can’t trade in kindness for a credit at Gap, but they don’t sell lovely anyway.  

On those inevitable bad hair/zit on the nose/nothing to wear sort of days, remember - loveliness isn’t bought.  It isn’t conjured up with will power.  It isn’t even coaxed into appearing through self love and positive thinking and pampering (though I’m not opposed to a good pedicure now and then).  Loveliness comes when we love others, not ourselves.  It is a choice to be lovely, to speak truth with kindness, to encourage, to serve.  It’s what you were made for. 

Just remember, little sister, you are lovely in your loving.

Little Miss Sunshine