I say sex, you say...

Warning: this post may not be appropriate for young readers

Let’s play a word association game.  I say sex, you say…

An experience designed for marriage to reflect the closeness and intimacy in relationship that God has in the members of the Trinity and will have with the church one day when all things are set right.  

That’s what you said, huh?  OK, well, I guess you’re all just fine and I don’t need to finish this so-provocatively-begun blog post.  Cool.  

Oh wait, you didn’t say that?  Suppose we’ll have to continue.  For Round 2 of my word association game, you can shout out a feeling that goes with the word (don’t shout too loud because that could get awkward).

I say…

Pornography

Human trafficking

Prostitution

Violated

Teenage moms

Rape

X-rated

Red light district

STDs

You say…?

That went downhill fast.  How do you feel now?  Disheartened?  Sad?  Uncomfortable?  Angry?  So much for Little Miss Sunshine.  

Time for Round 3.  

I say…

Community

Closeness

Blessing

Safety

Known

Satisfied

Celebration

You say…?

I know, you were worried about Round 3 before it even started.  So how do you feel?  Warm fuzzies?  Relieved?  Hopeful?  Excited?  Thought so.  You know what’s crazy?  These two sets of words have something in common - sex.  How can one 3 letter word incite such opposite reactions?  How can one set of words send chills of horror down my spine and the other set make me want to happy dance?!  

Sex has been hijacked, and I object.  Like a cosmic episode of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it’s as though every ad, artist and agency has taken it upon themselves to decide when, where and who with we should be having sex.  Oh, and if you’re not having sex, you’re weird, something’s wrong with you, or you’re living in the Dark Ages.      

What’s a Jesus-loving, Gospel-seeking, shalom-touting girl to do?  Turn to the church, of course!  Surely there she’ll find some sexual sanity in the middle of the madness.  So what saith the church?  

Don’t.  Don’t you dare have sex before you’re married because then you won’t be pure for your spouse.

OK.

Don’t you dare have sex before you’re married because God clearly says don’t.

OK.

If you mess up, there’s forgiveness, but try really hard not to mess up.

OK.

Don’t look at porn.

OK.

Don’t watch movies with lots of sex in them. 

OK, I’ll try, but that’s lots of movies, so I’ll just close my eyes if it’s really bad.  

…

Anything else I need to know about sex?

…*crickets*…

Um, ok then.  Thanks bye.  

This response doesn’t cut the mustard, friends, whatever that means.  Not only is it an inadequate response for a generation who has grown up in a sewage puddle of sexual comedy, media, culture and general profligacy, IT’S NOT BIBLICAL.  

Before you start throwing rocks, let me continue.  It’s completely Biblical to say don’t have sex before you’re married, and keep the heck away from sexual temptation in whatever form you find it.  I’m on board with that.  It’s completely unBiblical to pick and choose what you want of God’s Word and leave the rest.  

How many sermons have you heard on 

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord… husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church…”  Ephesians 5:22-25

“Flee from sexual immorality… do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…” 1 Corinthians 6:18-19

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life”  Proverbs 4:23

Cool, they’re preaching the Bible where you are.  That’s good.  Now how often have you heard anything about these?

“…rejoice in the wife of your youth… Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”  Proverbs 5:18-19

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!  For your love is better than wine”  Song of Solomon 1:2

“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”  Ephesians 5:31-32

What, you never knew that stuff was in there?  Oh.  Guess you’d better read your Bible.  At this point, you’re probably thinking, geez, Little Miss Sunshine, first you start talking about sex, then you’re beating the church over the head, what’s your point?!

Here’s my point: All I’m hearing from Chris Brown to Coca Cola is “you should be doing this because it’s amazing and it feels good and it’s the same thing as love” and from the other side all I hear is “don’t” and crickets.  I’M PRETTY SURE GOD HAS MORE TO SAY ABOUT SEX THAN DON’T AND CRICKETS!  He invented it… on purpose.  Not only did He invent it, what’s the first command He gives humankind?  

I’ll wait while you find it.  

“And God blessed them (Adam and Eve).  And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…’”  Genesis 1:28

You might want to sit down for this one.  Our great Creator God’s first command to humankind, the first married couple ever, wasn’t go build a church and it wasn’t go feed the giraffes.  His first command was go have sex.  Mind.  Blown.  

God cares about sex.  He cares so much for it that He knows it’s something so powerful that the only safe sex is shared between a man and a woman who have made a marriage promise to walk through all of life’s adventures together.  He knows that sex done the way He intended will make words like 

Community

Closeness

Blessing

Safety

Known

Satisfied

Celebration

into a tangible experience.  

He also knows that sex done outside the way He intended will make words like 

Pornography

Human trafficking

Prostitution

Violated

Teenage moms

Rape

X-rated

Red light district

STDs

into a tangible experience.  

Do you believe Him yet?  

Church, will you please continue to say don’t before you’re married, but add an explanation of why?  

Will you please tell them also that sex is hottest, fieriest, most romantic when you do it with the person you married?  

Will you please give them a reason to wait?  

Will you please help them reclaim purity when they fall?  

Will you please be a voice that is loud enough to be heard and true enough to be trusted?

There’s a reason some things are worth waiting for.  

Little Miss Sunshine

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex_and_intimacy/gods_design_for_sex.aspx

Cubelife: The Backstory

Hey Friends - 

Lots of you have been asking about how teaching is going.  Well, it’s not going.  After two years of wrangling 8 year olds, I retired.  Naturally, you’ll protest.  You’ll say you’re sure I was such a good teacher and I seem like I’d be so fun or how could I just give up and become a statistic.  You’ll be surprised, dismayed, saddened.  You’re not the only one.   

Let me tell you, stepping away from teaching was like casting off from a dock I’d been anchored to since I was 7 years old and sailing off into the sunset.  I wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne Shirley, Christy Huddleston and march right into that classroom and ignite the fire of curiosity in the minds of children.  Oh, I was ambitious.  I was idealistic.  I was gung ho, alright.  

And I totally underestimated a few things.  First, I was homeschooled.  I had a great experience, I learned a lot, and I am a socially competent human.  I also have zero experience when it comes to things like fire drills, classroom discipline, and why it’s so important to practice standing in lines.  Second, I think I figured that being an adult would mean something to an 8 year old.  Maybe it does to some, but to others, you’re just a little taller.  They have little respect for authority, and they don’t just learn because you tell them to.  

My first year of teaching, I got hired 3 days before school started.  My family was out of town, so I set up my classroom by myself, survived meet the teacher night, and jumped right in.  The staff was kind and welcoming, and gave me help whenever I asked for it.  I had a class full of spark plugs, just the way I like them.  Unfortunately, I knew nothing about classroom management for a room full of spark plugs, writing lesson plans for smarty pants spark plugs and struggling spark plugs.  I didn’t know how to invent a math curriculum or work with an outdated reading one… so I improvised.  

We jump roped our times tables.  We played red light/green light with parts of speech.  I supplemented with BrainPop Jr videos.  I brought in guest speakers.  My first year wasn’t without its moments of brilliance.  Unfortunately, my data wasn’t grow-y enough.  My students weren’t well behaved.  Oh, they loved me alright, but they were stinkers.  Because I was a late hire, I only had a 1 year contract.  

My second year of teaching was not much different.  Great staff.  Supportive parents.  Just as many stinkers.  I loved every last one of them.  I still failed at classroom management.  I still had a hard time figuring out how to challenge a room of 28 very different people.  I still had a few moments of brilliance.  Data?  Still not grow-y enough.  My kids weren’t succeeding, and I couldn’t handle it because I knew it was my own darn fault.  

Now, I’m not stupid, and I feel like I have to toss that out there because I feel stupid every time I tell this story.  I’m sure I could have buried myself in pinterest and teachertube videos and figured out a 12 step plan to classroom recovery.  I was already working 8-12 hour days trying to survive… on top of lots of other normal life activities.  

It’s normal to have a hard 3-5 years, they kept saying.  I get that.  I didn’t expect it to be easy.  This was a little more than “not easy”.  This was soul scathing, deep seated dread, both that my kids weren’t achieving their goals, and that I could be abandoning what I thought was my big whopping life calling.  

What if I was a QUITTER.  What if I was an even worse - FAILURE. 

But what if… those were growing years.  What if it’s OK that I spent four years getting an education degree and only taught for two years.  What if it’s OK that I spent two years trying and decided I wanted to try something else.  What if deciding to be in sales instead of teaching was a preference choice instead of a moral choice.  What if those two years with those 50 kids were to teach me about asking for help and my own insecurities and success and God’s love for kids.

There were an awful lot of what ifs in those months while I was making this decision, and oh boy, I am not a girl who likes a whole lot of limbo.  I like black and white.  This is right or it isn’t.  Teaching was hard.  Not knowing was hard too.  I still don’t really know all the answers.  Sometimes [transparent moment] I wonder if God’s disappointed that I’m not in the trenches like my super cool teacher brother.  I wonder if I could have become a great teacher if I’d just stuck it out and read some good ole Harry Wong over the summer.  

But those aren’t really the thoughts I want to have about teaching.  I do want to remember the amazing teachers I met, and the ways they love kids faithfully every day.  I want to remember the way veteran teachers are the best sharers and givers around.  I want to remember knee high hugs and learning celebrations and how much I love kids.  I want to be open to teaching if the right situation comes along.  I want to encourage you that sometimes you need a change, and sometimes you need to stay put, and sometimes figuring that out is hard and takes a whole lot of praying.  

Well, this kind of turned into a teachery post instead of an update on what I’m doing now, but coming soon - Cubelife: the corporate caper.

Much love,

Little Miss Sunshine