Warning: this post may not be appropriate for young readers
Let’s play a word association game. I say sex, you say…
An experience designed for marriage to reflect the closeness and intimacy in relationship that God has in the members of the Trinity and will have with the church one day when all things are set right.
That’s what you said, huh? OK, well, I guess you’re all just fine and I don’t need to finish this so-provocatively-begun blog post. Cool.
Oh wait, you didn’t say that? Suppose we’ll have to continue. For Round 2 of my word association game, you can shout out a feeling that goes with the word (don’t shout too loud because that could get awkward).
I say…
Pornography
Human trafficking
Prostitution
Violated
Teenage moms
Rape
X-rated
Red light district
STDs
You say…?
That went downhill fast. How do you feel now? Disheartened? Sad? Uncomfortable? Angry? So much for Little Miss Sunshine.
Time for Round 3.
I say…
Community
Closeness
Blessing
Safety
Known
Satisfied
Celebration
You say…?
I know, you were worried about Round 3 before it even started. So how do you feel? Warm fuzzies? Relieved? Hopeful? Excited? Thought so. You know what’s crazy? These two sets of words have something in common - sex. How can one 3 letter word incite such opposite reactions? How can one set of words send chills of horror down my spine and the other set make me want to happy dance?!
Sex has been hijacked, and I object. Like a cosmic episode of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, it’s as though every ad, artist and agency has taken it upon themselves to decide when, where and who with we should be having sex. Oh, and if you’re not having sex, you’re weird, something’s wrong with you, or you’re living in the Dark Ages.
What’s a Jesus-loving, Gospel-seeking, shalom-touting girl to do? Turn to the church, of course! Surely there she’ll find some sexual sanity in the middle of the madness. So what saith the church?
Don’t. Don’t you dare have sex before you’re married because then you won’t be pure for your spouse.
OK.
Don’t you dare have sex before you’re married because God clearly says don’t.
OK.
If you mess up, there’s forgiveness, but try really hard not to mess up.
OK.
Don’t look at porn.
OK.
Don’t watch movies with lots of sex in them.
OK, I’ll try, but that’s lots of movies, so I’ll just close my eyes if it’s really bad.
…
Anything else I need to know about sex?
…*crickets*…
Um, ok then. Thanks bye.
This response doesn’t cut the mustard, friends, whatever that means. Not only is it an inadequate response for a generation who has grown up in a sewage puddle of sexual comedy, media, culture and general profligacy, IT’S NOT BIBLICAL.
Before you start throwing rocks, let me continue. It’s completely Biblical to say don’t have sex before you’re married, and keep the heck away from sexual temptation in whatever form you find it. I’m on board with that. It’s completely unBiblical to pick and choose what you want of God’s Word and leave the rest.
How many sermons have you heard on
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord… husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church…” Ephesians 5:22-25
“Flee from sexual immorality… do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…” 1 Corinthians 6:18-19
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” Proverbs 4:23
Cool, they’re preaching the Bible where you are. That’s good. Now how often have you heard anything about these?
“…rejoice in the wife of your youth… Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine” Song of Solomon 1:2
“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:31-32
What, you never knew that stuff was in there? Oh. Guess you’d better read your Bible. At this point, you’re probably thinking, geez, Little Miss Sunshine, first you start talking about sex, then you’re beating the church over the head, what’s your point?!
Here’s my point: All I’m hearing from Chris Brown to Coca Cola is “you should be doing this because it’s amazing and it feels good and it’s the same thing as love” and from the other side all I hear is “don’t” and crickets. I’M PRETTY SURE GOD HAS MORE TO SAY ABOUT SEX THAN DON’T AND CRICKETS! He invented it… on purpose. Not only did He invent it, what’s the first command He gives humankind?
I’ll wait while you find it.
“And God blessed them (Adam and Eve). And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…’” Genesis 1:28
You might want to sit down for this one. Our great Creator God’s first command to humankind, the first married couple ever, wasn’t go build a church and it wasn’t go feed the giraffes. His first command was go have sex. Mind. Blown.
God cares about sex. He cares so much for it that He knows it’s something so powerful that the only safe sex is shared between a man and a woman who have made a marriage promise to walk through all of life’s adventures together. He knows that sex done the way He intended will make words like
Community
Closeness
Blessing
Safety
Known
Satisfied
Celebration
into a tangible experience.
He also knows that sex done outside the way He intended will make words like
Pornography
Human trafficking
Prostitution
Violated
Teenage moms
Rape
X-rated
Red light district
STDs
into a tangible experience.
Do you believe Him yet?
Church, will you please continue to say don’t before you’re married, but add an explanation of why?
Will you please tell them also that sex is hottest, fieriest, most romantic when you do it with the person you married?
Will you please give them a reason to wait?
Will you please help them reclaim purity when they fall?
Will you please be a voice that is loud enough to be heard and true enough to be trusted?
There’s a reason some things are worth waiting for.
Little Miss Sunshine
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