Dear Grownups,

Dear Grownups,

You are under surveillance.  This might come as a shock to you, but it's a surveillance of the most clandestine sort.  You might be aware of it sometimes, but even then you do not fully understand how intensely interested and sensitive those watching you are to your every move.  They study and adopt your mannerisms, figures of speech, character flaws and strengths. 

Of course, I'm talking about the PCs of the world.  [For the uninitiated, PC is precious child.]  Do you know how they watch you?  Do you know the way that you speak to each other, close doors, listen to music and eat spaghetti is received by them in some mysterious process of social osmosis?  Every day you spend with them or don't spend with them, you are declaring loudly and clearly what is important.  Don't think they're too busy playing to notice. 

Do you value books?  They know.  Do you really believe all men were created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights?  They know whether you do or not.  Are you a hypocrite?  Even if you have yourself and everyone else fooled, it is likely they know the truth.  Do you really believe the best things in life can't be bought?  They could tell me what you believe. 

You are shaping the fate of a generation by the way you use your fork.  You are affecting the future of diplomacy in the way you write thank you notes.  You are holding back the tide of war by resolving conflicts with grace instead of grudges.  You are raising the dreamers and the doers who will own the world in twenty years. 

There is a choice to be made, grownups.  You have the power to be the hero or the villain.  An important distinction to make between comic book heroes and those that live in the grown up world is comic book heroes seldom make mistakes.  Grown up heroes make mistakes all the time.  You will not be able to make every one of a child's Christmas dreams come true.  You will lose patience.  You will walk past the old woman who dropped her bag of apples on the ground.  Here I am on my knees begging for you to use those teachable moments.  Apologize to them.  Tell them you were wrong.  Ask their forgiveness.  Show them what reconciliation looks like. 

As for being the villain, don't.  Don't you dare give my precious children a verbal scourging and think nothing of it.  Don't you dare make them feel as if they are an inconvenience or as if they don't matter.  Do not put in ruins a life that you have been given to build up and make beautiful.

This is directed towards grownups, not parents.  If you are 18, you count.  Children put great stock in what you say and how you say it.  They see you as their heroes until you prove them wrong.  Don't give them reason to doubt.  You will not be perfect, I guarantee it.  That is immaterial.  Apologize well.  Teach them about what matters.  Show them what growth looks like. 

I am often on my face asking God to work in the hearts of these little people, both here and around the world.  I suggest you join me.  As I sit writing this, my eyes get wet with the love God has given me for them and the heartbreak some of them are experiencing right now.  Please, grown ups, take care of the children in your lives.  They.  Are.  So.  Precious.

Little Miss Sunshine

I read this book a few years ago and it transformed the way I see children.  You will weep, but it is worth it.