When God Writes Your Love Story… and it takes a long time

I just woke up from a fabulous Saturday afternoon nap where I dreamed I was ten minutes away from my dear friend Sarah's wedding, and I couldn't find my bridesmaid dress anywhere.  Consequently, there were several others in my closet, but nothing in David's Bridal Peacock Blue.  When I snapped out of my fashion disaster panicked slumber, I felt like I was living in Katherine Heigl's 27 Dresses. 

Don't get me wrong, I love weddings.  I had the honor of being in Kat's in December, went to two in March, and have four back to back coming up at the end of May, one of which is my brother's.  I've done bridal hair, invented boutonnieres out of centerpieces, lit candles, blown out candles, made punch and torn up the dance floor (but that goes without saying).  But at some point, you've got to start asking, hey, where's my wedding?!  When do I get to have a wedding?!  I trust that God's going to write my love story, but sometimes I think He's taking too long.

My little brother's getting married,  the littler little brother is dating a great girl, my friends are dating great guys or married to them already.  Some of them are having kids, others are doing awesome ministry together or at least being super cute and couple-y.  You know, taking couple camping trips, taking couple photo shoots, picking out living room paint colors, all that stuff.  Sometimes I look around and think, geez louise, is there something on my face?!  Am I missing something?  Did I step out when the couple cards were dealt so I'm out of the game?

Growing up, I was always a planner.  I remember writing out a life plan when I was in 5th grade.  Of course, I no longer want to live on a giant farm with my four best friends because that's called a commune and people will think you're a little off your nut if you do.  Along the way, the plan morphed into a sort of modified American Dream: Christian Edition where I'd get married straight out of college, teach a couple years, have a couple kids and be superwife and supermom for a while.  That was the plan.  Well, as you can see, it hasn't happened yet.

But, if there's one thing I learned during this year of teaching, it's to hold tight to this phrase.. Yep, I'll wait while you get out your Moleskine…

You just never know. 

Write it down.  Circle it.  Highlight it.  Turn it into a piece of graphic art and put it on Pinterest.  You just never know.  You might have five kids in your class who fail a standardized test.  You might have parents get mad at you, or they might want to give you a raise.  You might lose your job at the end of the school year.  You might have a kid tell you something so insightful that you wonder if they really are 8 years old. 

Don't think this applies just to teachers.  I'm not the only one who just never knows.  You don't know either.  You might decide to take up running today.  You might receive some really bad news or some really good news.  You might run into your boss's boss and get to talking about something innovative you think would improve the company.  You just never know.  In this Information Age, we get tricked into thinking we know.  Wolfram Alpha can tell us all about the distance to this or that star, the population of Rhode Island, or how many wives Muhammed had.  We can Google search people we meet and think we know them instead of just stuff about them.  We can read studies and take classes and follow steps, and it tricks us into thinking we're in charge.  Well, here's another little nugget of wisdom…

You aren't in control.

You can try to prove me wrong with statistics or stories of your plans working out exactly as the Excel formula said they would.  That's great.  I think planning is a good idea, but don't let it fool you into thinking you're in charge, that you've got life wired and all figured out.   

Here's what I do know.  I am called to be faithful to what He's given me to do.  Right now, that's teaching PCs, laughing it up with my RCWest small group, and occasionally dancing the night away.  If I say I love Him, but I don't trust His timing, do I really love Him at all?  If I say I'm committed to wanting His best for me, but then I question if where I'm at, do I really believe that His best is best? 

Saying you believe one thing but secretly thinking another is called lying.  And you know who you're lying to?  Yourself.  James wrote about it like this, except in Greek...

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! - James 1:22

(The Message paraphrase)

If God really knows how many hairs you have on your head, believe Him to know what's best for you.  After all, Paul says,

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? - Romans 8

(The Message paraphrase)

Do you really think that kind of God would let you slip through the cracks? 

I'm not telling you it'll be easy.  Some days you'll probably want to eat a pound of chocolate and watch chick flicks all day or … whatever the guy equivalent is to that.  I'm not telling you that tomorrow you'll meet some amazing person that makes your head spin and that you'll suddenly have a whole flock of butterflies in your stomach.  Maybe you won't get married until you're 26 or 31 or 52 or maybe not at all.  God's not formulaic, but He's good.  He's not tame, but He can be trusted to write your love story, however long it takes.

Love,

Little Miss Sunshine