The Waiting Place

 

This summer at church, we've been doing a series in Psalms.  Usually when you hear the word "Psalms", you think about nice, non-controversial, happy Bible verses that people write in birthday cards or quote as their favorites.  Well, I feel like this summer series hasn't seen a whole lot of that.  Two weeks ago, we talked about how Psalms addresses life's big letdowns.  Last week at our at our young adults/college/career/inbetweenhighschoolandhavingkids gathering at church, we talked about the idea of waiting in Psalm 13.

David has been promised the crown of Israel, but Saul's still got his derrière parked on the throne.  David is waiting for his big promotion, and it takes longer than he expects.  Psalm 13 is not one of those cheery, soft, snuggly Psalms.  It's frustrated, languishing, maybe even a little mad.  Now, remember, a psalm is a song, so Psalm 13 starts out a little more punk/rock/emo than your typical hymn.  It's kind of funny because in the notes above the Psalm, it says "To the choirmaster.  A Psalm of David.".  The Jews used this song in church.  I'm not really sorry if that rocked your boat just a little. 

Waiting makes me think of a passage from Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go"  (the book you got 17 copies of after high school graduation).

You can get so confused

that you'll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or the waiting around for a Yes or No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for the wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO!

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape

all that waiting and staying

You'll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,

once more you'll ride high!

Ready for anything under the sky.

Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Pasted from <http://denuccio.net/ohplaces.html>

I think he's right about some things.  I don't have an Uncle Jake, so I can't wait for him, but sometimes, just sometimes, I do wait for my hair to grow.  The Waiting Place can be excruciating.  You feel like you've been there forever and an answer will never come, things will never change or the situation you're stuck in will go on forever.  It can be heavy, crushing, even, waiting for the call, waiting for the test results, waiting for the court's decision, waiting for that other person to say something.  It can be frustrating, feeling like you have no control over the situation, like there's nothing you can do to make it better. 

But. 

I think he's wrong when he calls it "a most useless place".  I think he's wrong when he assures you that waiting is "not for you", as if you can somehow earn a "Get out of waiting FREE" pass.  Waiting can be boring at best, or heartrending at worst, but what it doesn't have to be is wasted.  God doesn't waste our time.  He doesn't place us in situations where we must wait for no reason.  Waiting is not (usually) some kind of punishment.  Waiting is not a sign that God has momentarily forgotten you but will reopen your file over His cosmic lunch break.  God is always working in the middle of our waiting. 

Well that's peppy.  Waiting is for our best.  It isn't a wasted life experience.  It doesn't mean you've slipped through a crack and been forgotten.  Yayyyy waiting!  No way, José, or Kristen, or Nicholas or whatever your name happens to be.  I'm not trying to say that waiting should feel easy.  I'm not trying to say that it won't feel like you've got an anvil sitting on your heart.  I'm not trying to say that you won't go through a whole range of emotions.  But read the end of the Psalm.  David feels all these things acutely, but at the end of the song, he writes this,

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD because He has dealt bountifully with me.

We can hang our hats on that word "but". 

This is painful and tiresome and frustrating and I have doubts and I have fears and and and… all these things.

But.

We are not forgotten or alone or unloved.  (Though it might feel like that sometimes.)  We cannot see the full scope of what God will do, but He can see it.  He has been gracious to us in rescuing us out of our mess and giving us a second (third, fourth, eighty-fifth) chance because of Christ. 

Hang in there, kiddo.  Your waiting is not wasted. 

Little Miss Sunshine

Dates of the Up Variety

No, this post is not about dates, but you knew that.  The summer has been a little slow on the blog because I haven't had the PCs to keep me supplied with laugh-attacking, heart breaking, pull my hair out-ing moments.  Shoot, what HAVE you been doing all summer, you ask?

Well, there was that month of weddings…

After that, I came home for a couple of weeks and unpacked/did laundry/post travel stuff.  Oh, and I slept.  A lot.  I remember Cami Jones always saying that she slept a week straight after coming home from college in the summers.  Since I'm going to be in school schedule for a while, I probably will be doing that for years.

At the end of June, I ditched the desert for the country in northern Colorado.  You probably don't know how much I love the country.  And cows.  And fields.  And the smell of hay and horse.  And banjo.  And most things country.  We went to the Greeley Stampede and watched the rodeo a few nights and listened to some country music.  On the 4th, we decked ourselves in red, white and blue and watched the parade.  (And hollered our lungs out.)  We set off fireworks too, thanks to Preston and Elliot who went on a mission to Wyoming to get them. 

Friday morning, Dora dropped me off in Denver for my family reunion. 

A word about our family reunions…

My mom's side of the family is loud, competitive, crazy, and loves being together.  The logical consequence of that is our family reunions are LOUD, competitive, and crazy happy fests.  Aunt P organized a Minute to Win It Family Tournament, and she and Mal coordinated the food department.  There were a jillion details I don't even know who to credit, but let's just say it was an all-star family reunion. 

Oh, somewhere in there, I got a job.  I guess I should mention that.  This year, I'll be teaching 3rd grade at a little charter school near my house.  I'm so thankful to be teaching 3rd again this year, and ecstatic to have the details of licensure behind me (for now). 

Of course, as is the case in my non-summer life, there has been plenty of spending time with my community group from church, playing volleyball, dancing, and things that can be categorized as "general adventuring" like a roadtrip to Sedona with Bethany and riding wave runners with Mike, Jared and Chelsey (I'm still sore from that one). 

This week, I'll be finishing up decorating my classroom, and school starts August 5.  Am I excited?  Duh.  Also, I'm shaking in my boots, but that's OK.  There will be a more substantial post about the new year of PCs coming soon. 

I don't think I've left too much out.  The littlest bro is going off to *gasp* college and the older younger bro is happily married (and I get to reap the benefits of having a sister!). 

There's my summer in a nutshell,

-Little Miss Sunshine

Getting the Girl - What you can learn from Bad Boys

And then Princess Buttercup ditched Prince Charming for Evil Villain and they rode off into the sunset on his Harley and lived happily ever after. 

Ok, I know that doesn't ever happen in the fairy tales, but sometimes it happens in real life.  The princess falls for the bad boy and misses out on the prince charming standing right beside her.  This is a phenomenon that has baffled good guys for ages.  Trust me, dudes, I don't completely understand it myself.  I mean, if that girl had half a brain in her head, she'd be falling for you - the sweet, upstanding gentleman who will take care of her instead of that goodfornothing snakeinthegrass lilylivered twofaced… you get the idea.  So where's the breakdown?  How in the world did she miss you standing right next to her?  Good girls want good guys!  They admire them and speak highly of them and aspire to marry them...

So why, oh why, oh why in the world do good girls go off with bad boys? 

Let's start with the simplest option - she's an idiot.  Let's face it, sometimes girls just do dumb things.  It's entirely possible that she wasn't thinking straight and made the wrong decision.  I want to take that idea of "not thinking straight" and blow it up on the projector for further examination.  What do bad boys do that get girls' attention and help them along in the process of "not thinking straight"?  After all, if the bad guys are getting the good girls and you aren't, they're doing something you're not.  What is it?  And is it something worth adapting with some tweaking so you don't get your "good guy" card pulled?  I would like to suggest, yes. 

1. Bad boys are gutsy.

Think about it.  The typical bad boy rides a motorcycle or drives a fast car (or drives the car he has too fast), has no regard for authority, and acts like he owns the place.  He takes risks because his opinion of himself is a little inflated. 

Why girls like this: While being gutsy might really just translate to being stupid, often times it comes across as brave, independent, and confident.  It makes us think that he's got courage to do big things in life.

What it means for you: I'm not telling you to go drive your car really fast and be disrespectful to your parents.  In fact, I would highly advise otherwise.  Look at the principle - girls want a brave guy.  Where's the largest deposit of "havenofear-ite" in the world?  Yeah, the Bible.  It is Biblically sound for you to not be afraid.  It is Biblically sound for you to disregard the opinion of the world in preference for what God has to say about things.  It is Biblically sound for you to courageously oppose evil.  All those things are good for their own sake, but they're also good for catching Good Girl's eye.

2. Bad boys are forward.

Bad boys know what they want and how to get it.  They see a girl they like, and they get her number.  They call her.  They ask her out.  They give her compliments.  They impulsively hold her hand.  They ask her out again… and again, until she'll sleep with them.

Why girls like this: We like it when you're clear about how you feel about us.  If you ask for our number and ask us out, it communicates that you like us and aren't afraid to do something about it, and we like that.  It also reinforces #1. above.

What it means for you: DO NOT SLEEP WITH GIRLS UNLESS YOU'RE MARRIED TO THEM.  That aside, look at the principle - if you like a girl, do something about it.  Listen here, Good Conservative (possibly homeschooled) Well Read Gospel Grounded Guy, I know that you've been raised to "take it slow" and "be cautious" and "be the initiator" and "lead" and "be strong and courageous".  So, find a balance.  Don't be slow as Christmas or we'll think you don't know we're alive.  You don't need to rush either, just ask that Good Girl out.  Be clear.  If it's a date, call it a date and pay.  (I should NOT have to tell you that.)  If you never go out again, that's OK.  One date is not committing to lifelong relationship.  Just be one notch higher on the forward scale?

3. Bad boys care about their image.

Bad boys usually turn out to be self-indulgent, well, bad boys.  They care about how they come across.  Their hair needs to have the perfect dirty-don't-care-put-together amount of gel in it.  Their clothes need to say I'm-a-bad-boy-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it.  Their car is shiny.  They do pull ups and keep their abs looking washboard-y.

Why girls like this: We notice when guys are put together.  It means they put a little time into getting ready in the morning and hit the gym now and then to take care of themselves. 

What it means for you: Limit the oversized t-shirts with funny slogans to once a month.  Wear pants that fit.  Know what an "accessory" is (here's a clue: watches, sunglasses, and the occasional bowtie or man bag).  No more eating like you're in 7th grade - a whole pizza, a Mountain Dew and a box of Mike and Ikes.  I'm not saying you have to have the perfect model bod and suddenly be able to afford Buckle watches.  I AM saying you should take care of what you've got and learn how to dress more snappily than a t-shirt with an LOTR reference and khaki pants that are too short and show your white Adidas socks.  You know what's important, and fashion isn't really, but that doesn't mean you can't take 10 more minutes getting dressed in the morning.  Good Girl will sit up and notice the change. 

Granted, being gutsy is hard, not every girl you ask out will say yes, and you might hate me for suggesting you ditch the LOTR t-shirt.  Good girls don't want you to be bad, but they do want you to be brave, clear and put together.  I do hope that I unraveled the intellectual knot that is the bad boy and helped you come one step closer to becoming the Knight in Shining Armor (or should we say Amor?) you're meant to be.

Love you, Good Guys, and good luck winning your lady fair,

Little Miss Sunshine