And then Princess
Buttercup ditched Prince Charming for Evil Villain and they rode off into the
sunset on his Harley and lived happily ever after.
Ok, I know that
doesn't ever happen in the fairy tales, but sometimes it happens in real
life. The princess falls for the bad boy
and misses out on the prince charming standing right beside her. This is a phenomenon that has baffled good
guys for ages. Trust me, dudes, I don't
completely understand it myself. I mean,
if that girl had half a brain in her head, she'd be falling for you - the
sweet, upstanding gentleman who will take care of her instead of that
goodfornothing snakeinthegrass lilylivered twofaced… you get the idea. So where's the breakdown? How in the world did she miss you standing
right next to her? Good girls want good guys! They admire them and speak highly of them and
aspire to marry them...
So why, oh why, oh
why in the world do good girls go off with bad boys?
Let's start with the
simplest option - she's an idiot. Let's
face it, sometimes girls just do dumb things.
It's entirely possible that she wasn't thinking straight and made the
wrong decision. I want to take that idea
of "not thinking straight" and blow it up on the projector for
further examination. What do bad boys do
that get girls' attention and help them along in the process of "not
thinking straight"? After all, if
the bad guys are getting the good girls and you aren't, they're doing something
you're not. What is it? And is it something worth adapting with some
tweaking so you don't get your "good guy" card pulled? I would like to suggest, yes.
1. Bad boys are
gutsy.
Think about it. The typical bad boy rides a motorcycle or
drives a fast car (or drives the car he has too fast), has no regard for
authority, and acts like he owns the place.
He takes risks because his opinion of himself is a little inflated.
Why girls like this: While being gutsy might
really just translate to being stupid, often times it comes across as brave,
independent, and confident. It makes us
think that he's got courage to do big things in life.
What it means for you: I'm not telling you to
go drive your car really fast and be disrespectful to your parents. In fact, I would highly advise
otherwise. Look at the principle - girls
want a brave guy. Where's the largest
deposit of "havenofear-ite" in the world? Yeah, the Bible. It is Biblically sound for you to not be afraid. It is Biblically sound for you to disregard
the opinion of the world in preference for what God has to say about
things. It is Biblically sound for you
to courageously oppose evil. All those
things are good for their own sake, but they're also good for catching Good
Girl's eye.
2. Bad boys are
forward.
Bad boys know what
they want and how to get it. They see a
girl they like, and they get her number.
They call her. They ask her out. They give her compliments. They impulsively hold her hand. They ask her out again… and again, until
she'll sleep with them.
Why girls like this: We like it when you're
clear about how you feel about us. If
you ask for our number and ask us out, it communicates that you like us and
aren't afraid to do something about it, and we like that. It also reinforces #1. above.
What it means for you: DO NOT SLEEP WITH GIRLS
UNLESS YOU'RE MARRIED TO THEM. That
aside, look at the principle - if you like a girl, do something about it. Listen here, Good Conservative (possibly homeschooled)
Well Read Gospel Grounded Guy, I know that you've been raised to "take it
slow" and "be cautious" and "be the initiator" and
"lead" and "be strong and courageous". So, find a balance. Don't be slow as Christmas or we'll think you
don't know we're alive. You don't need
to rush either, just ask that Good Girl out.
Be clear. If it's a date, call it
a date and pay. (I should NOT have to
tell you that.) If you never go out
again, that's OK. One date is not
committing to lifelong relationship.
Just be one notch higher on the forward scale?
3. Bad boys care
about their image.
Bad boys usually
turn out to be self-indulgent, well, bad boys.
They care about how they come across.
Their hair needs to have the perfect dirty-don't-care-put-together
amount of gel in it. Their clothes need
to say I'm-a-bad-boy-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it. Their car is shiny. They do pull ups and keep their abs looking
washboard-y.
Why girls like this: We notice when guys are
put together. It means they put a little
time into getting ready in the morning and hit the gym now and then to take
care of themselves.
What it means for you: Limit the oversized
t-shirts with funny slogans to once a month.
Wear pants that fit. Know what an
"accessory" is (here's a clue: watches, sunglasses, and the occasional
bowtie or man bag). No more eating like
you're in 7th grade - a whole pizza, a Mountain Dew and a box of Mike and
Ikes. I'm not saying you have to have
the perfect model bod and suddenly be able to afford Buckle watches. I AM saying you should take care of what
you've got and learn how to dress more snappily than a t-shirt with an LOTR
reference and khaki pants that are too short and show your white Adidas socks. You know what's important, and fashion isn't really, but that doesn't mean you can't take 10 more minutes getting dressed in the morning. Good Girl will sit up and notice
the change.
Granted, being gutsy
is hard, not every girl you ask out will say yes, and you might hate me for
suggesting you ditch the LOTR t-shirt. Good girls don't want you to be bad, but they do want you to be brave, clear and put together. I do hope that I unraveled the intellectual knot that is the bad boy
and helped you come one step closer to becoming the Knight in Shining Armor (or
should we say Amor?) you're meant to be.
Love you, Good Guys,
and good luck winning your lady fair,
Little Miss Sunshine
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