Dear Gentlemen,

Last week, I went dancing.  I don't know if you know this, but I love to dance.  When I say love, I mean I'd rather dance than eat.  In my short 23 years, I've danced on my fair share of dance floors, been dropped on my head, and attempted to follow lots of different lead styles.  Along the way, I've discovered some things it would be good for guys to know about dancing with girls. 

Dear Gentlemen,

1. Please do your best to keep all our joints in their appropriate sockets.

Last week, I danced with the strongest lead in the history of my dancing escapades.  I think he downed a Monster/RedBull/Amp/RockStar cocktail for a little liquid courage before he asked me to dance.  The kid was dancing double time and flinging me to the far corners of the earth like a professional yoyo stunt man.  I quickly developed a coping technique that involved anticipating his next move so that my shoulder would stay properly attached to its socket. 

Here's the deal, guys.  We like a strong lead.  We like to know where we're going, and we're not exactly fragile, but we do appreciate a little gentleness.  It's even OK if you spend some time not dipping/twirling/aerial-ing us.  That's called giving us a breather, and it's absolutely permissible.  We and our ball and socket joints salute you. 

2. All you have to do is ask.

When I go dancing, I like to, um, dance.  I would say that's what most girls like to do when they "go dancing".  I know asking girls to dance is scary and what if we say no and you have inner manly man insecurities, etc., etc.  Be of good courage, men.  We want to dance with you.  Although I can't give it a 100% Sunshine Guarantee, there will be few circumstances under which you will get rejected when you ask a girl to dance.  These might include… recent hip replacements, vertigo, sprained ankle or heat stroke.  As all those things are pretty rare, ask away. 

We don't care too much if you're just learning and have to do the same steps for the whole song.  We don't really care if you're shorter than us or don't look like a GQ model.  You don't have to be Mr. Super Suave and whisper sweet nothings in our ears (actually, we'd probably prefer that you didn't).  Just do your best to treat us like ladies, and we'll tell all our friends how lovely it was to dance with you.    

3. Don't talk about other girls.

This should be self-explanatory.  We like to feel like you want to dance with us, not the girl with the long blonde hair that you keep looking at and talking about.  I know this should be obvious, but I include it because it's happened.  The exception to this rule is if you're dancing with a girl who's flirting her boots off and you need to reassure her that you're very happy dating the girlfriend/fiancée/wife you already have. 

4. Lead the way.

A few months ago, I was at a Scottish Highland Ball twirling and galloping my feet off.  To my delight, someone under 75 asked me to dance.  Of course, I said yes (refer to #2, above).  He asked if I knew this particular dance, and I said no, I'd just follow him.  He replied, "Oh, no, don't follow me!"  To this, I discreetly rolled my eyes.

Gentlemen, we don't expect you to be Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly.  We understand you may not be eligible for the next season of So You Think You Can Dance.  What we do expect and understand is you're supposed to lead.  We don't mind tagging along as you try to figure that out.  Even occasionally stepping on our toes is a pardonable offence if you're penitent and trying your best to lead.  We know leading isn't easy, and we know it takes learning.  That said, we have full confidence in your ability to acquire this art, and we expect you to try. 

5. Be a credit to your sex.

Set the bar high for what a girl expects of her next dance partner.  For the sake of clarity, I'll be explicit… smell nice, brush your teeth, don't give us dirty looks when we miss your cues and mess up, smile, ask us our name, thank us for the dance when the song's over.          

We appreciate you and respect the guts it takes to ask us to dance and lead the way.

Most affectionately,

Little Miss Sunshine