Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Dear Ladies, Some Advice from the Man You're Dancing with


In my last post, I addressed some things to the guys we dance with.  Do smell good, do ask us to dance even if you're not amazing, don't throw us like yoyos, etc.  I thought it only fair to write to the other half of the dancing population.  Being  a girl, and not having the corner market on male mind analysis, I outsourced.  This is an expanded version of what the men I talked to had to say.

Dear Ladies,

1. Follow the leader.
Dancing is not a three legged race.  The party of the first part and the party of the second part do not have equal… parts.  It is the man's job to lead and the lady's job to follow.  I know, you're a 21st century liberated, accomplished woman and you don't need a man to lead you around by the hand.  Well, this is dancing, not the office, so let the man lead.  I don't care if you've studied under George Balanchine, don't try to take over.  It'll make you both look bad.  Guys aren't opposed to you teaching them a new move now and then, but don't try to compete for the leadership role. 
"Be a good follower, i.e. let the guy lead.
"Just because I'm supposed to be leading doesn't mean I know everything.  If you know something I don't, I'm willing and wanting to learn."

2. Forgive us our peccadillos.
In short, guys feel bad enough when they step on our toes or have choreographical freeze ups without us giving them dirty looks.  To quote my sources…
"Be ok with laughing off mistakes."
"We will step on your feet.  Every time.  Please don't get angry when we do."
Give them some grace.  They're trying to figure out how to lead, where to twirl you next, and whether or not a dip is appropriate.  When it comes to the question of "are we human or are we dancers" (thanks, Killers) the answer is human. 

3. Flash us a smile.
There's a lot of pressure on guys when they dance with you.  As mentioned above, they’re attempting to multitask.  In most cases, men are trying to lead you around the dance floor and treat you like a lady.  They might have two left feet.  They might have never learned what it means to treat a lady well, but they're trying.  I hate to compare our warrior poet/kinsmen redeemer/brave hearted hero brothers to puppies, but when they're trying hard and having some successes, smile at them!  Let them know you appreciate their efforts.  Show them you're having fun!
"Smile, relax, have fun… if you're not having fun dancing, why are you doing it in the first place?"
"SMILE: a good sign he's doing a good job and you're at least having fun even though he's stepping on your feet."
"If you're a better dancer, he probably already knows this and there's no need to make him feel insecure."

4. Come dressed for success.
I can endorse this one with a Sunshine stamp of approval.  From a modesty standpoint, it's important to think about the duds you're donning for a night of dancing.  Don't make guys feel awkward by deep v's down to your belly button.  Not classy.  From a practical perspective, though, think through the kind of outfit you'll need.  Short skirts and passionate twirling do not mix.  Avoid straps that you know will slide down your shoulders, it's annoying.  Don't wear long sleeves and pants in the summer, or you'll be uh, damp, and that's gross. 
"Clothing choice is also something important, not necessarily on the modesty issue, but on the ability of the clothes to facilitate dancing (i.e. not heels or super tight dresses).  Oh, slider shorts are a must."

5. Nod and smile when we ask you to dance.
Ladies, I don't quite understand this phenomenon, but women can scare the bravest of men just by being women.  It's hard for them to ask us to dance.  They sign million dollar contracts, they do open heart surgeries, they take on 300lb linebackers on the field, but when it comes to girls, they get a little weak in the knees.  I know, to us it doesn't seem that complicated.  We want to dance; they ask us to dance; we say yes, but the poor guys are shaking in their boots, so be nice and say yes. 
"Dance with any guy who is brave enough to ask (creepers are an exception)."
"She said yes, I said wow" - Brad Paisley


There you have it, ladies, the inside scoop on what men appreciate on the dance floor.  Thanks to all my inside sources!

Happy twirling,

Little Miss Sunshine



Sources

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