Run Away

I want to run away.  I hope she's forgotten.  I think of falling asleep, rendering me ineligible.  The weather looks inclement.  There is no way I could do it.  To me, not trying is much more appealing than trying and failing.  This is much too big.  Impossible thing she is asking me to do.  She is perfectly capable.  Me?  Forget it.

And.  Yet. 

She didn't forget, as I'd secretly wished.  I didn't fall asleep, as I'd schemed.  My inner conqueror is disgusted.  Of course I could do it.  It was only a matter of putting step in front of step, knowing and believing it was not an impossibility. 

So we leave. 

Needtobreathe, TobyMac and B.o.B close at hand, dear Nikes tied in double knots.  There is the trailhead with the hill and the exposed tree roots.  You have to watch coming down by the storage shed, the sand is an easy spot to turn an ankle.  The gazebo.  Trotting through the park.  She says we should go to barefoot bowling sometime at the lawn bowling club.  She's listening to Ben Stuart, arms swinging rhythmically back and forth.  I'm listening to TobyMac, trying to forget about my legs, attempting dance hand motions without throwing off my groove.

Shrubs, trees, glimpses of beach.  People with dogs, other pairs of runners, walkers.  They serve as little distractions to the big task that is slowly being accomplished.  She asks me for ten more minutes.  I feel good, minus my feet being asleep, so I say yes.  Eventually, we make it back to the house.  I am alive.  The insanity didn't get the best of me.

This is just physical challenge, but what of other impossible things?  What of a doctorate or a book written or a garden that provides produce year round?  Are they impossible the way this is?  The way this is slowly being done, step in front of step?  Is the obstacle to doing something with your life not inability but lack of faith? 

In the biography of Hudson and Maria Taylor I'm currently reading, faith is a constant theme.  Not ever advertising financial need, and thought of as crazy for doing so, Taylor wrote after being criticized for living from hand to mouth, "Yes, from God's hand to my mouth.".  During even a crisis of this great faith, Taylor prayed, "Thou, Lord!  Thou shalt have the burden.  All the responsibility lies on thee, Lord Jesus!  I surrender.  The consequences rest with Thee."

He has parted the Red Sea, healed the sick, fed thousands.  What more of a sign do I need to assure me that He is trustworthy?  When He says Go or Stay or Get out of the boat and walk on the water, He can be trusted. 

Challenged to stop running away,

Little Miss Sunshine