Oh, friends, I
always knew teaching wasn't an easy job, but now I'm seeing it for myself. Ideals sparkling with collegiate naiveté
suddenly look like a fairytale castle, nice but not reality. I wanted my kids learning plays, designing
and building things, doing experiments, and solving the worlds problems. What I'm finding is a gap between ambition
and physical limitations of time and energy, oh, and having to be at P.E. and
such and such a standardized test and lunch and deal with bloody noses and
children who can't stand in a straight line.
How in the world can I be what each student needs? How in the world can I differentiate for precious child 1 and 2 and 15 and 23?! Kid 7 keeps trying to spell words without vowels! Kid 2 invariably forgets to use punctuation! Kid 13 could probably do high school geometry! I can't let any of them slip through the cracks - not Kid 10 because she's so quiet, or Kid 5 because she's about as hyper as a chihuahua puppy!
I've decided, as a
first year teacher, I don't have to do it all at once. My priority is my precious children. If they're learning, I'm satisfied. If my room wins cutest classroom (which it
likely never will), if I get enough box tops to buy a chemistry set, and if
every one of my kids gets put in the gifted program next year, fine. For now, I'm just going to focus on figuring
out how to be a classroom teacher that can explain things in enough ways that
it gets the point across to every student, treats her students fairly, keeps
her promises, and ignites a fire for learning in the guts of the 23 kids in
Miss Sunshine's Room 8.
Friday, we were with
our first grade buddy class working on the commutative property (flipping
around addition facts), and I almost lost it.
There were my kids, some of them a little crazier than others, working
carefully with their buddy to explain the concept and play the dice game. I was so proud of them. They were being responsible because they were
given responsibility!
Also Friday, we took
a nasty long standardized reading test in the computer lab. Afterwards, I had a little sweet one crying
at her desk saying she didn't like reading.
I about started crying with her right there. WHAT?!
Don't like reading?! Next to
loving Jesus and having a stable social network, reading is just about the most
important thing in life. We had to have
a little chat about how she didn't really hate reading, she just needed a
little practice. Oh, but they pull on
your heartstrings!
Monday, I have my
first big test. I'm leaving my darling
hooligans with a sub. She has specific
instructions in an attempt at preventing them from taking her to the moon. Haha, they might take her there anyway, but I
did my best to label things and give her a ship shape ship to run while I'm at
a curriculum training day. It's like
leaving your kids with a babysitter for the first time. You know there's the potential for them to be
helpful and responsible and show her where the lunch box bin goes by the
gate. You also know you could come back
to a warzone and a hastily scribbled note on your desk that says, "I tried
to keep them from putting glue in each other's hair, it just didn't work out,
sorry.".
Thursday, a student
called me over to his desk with a question.
He looked up at me with his wondering brown eyes and said,
"Mom? … I mean… Miss Sunshine? … uh
sorry" Later, the same precious
child was wriggling around on the carpet like an earthworm. When I asked him what he was doing, he
replied simply that he was trying to get up with no arms. Of course.
No arms. Yes, that's life in 3rd
grade.
Well, if you want to
pray, pray for wisdom and gumption, but most of all, pray that I figure out how
to ask for help. Everyone at school is
so kind and helpful, but often I don't even know what to ask for!
Loving being Miss
Sunshine of Room 8 escapades,
LMS
No comments:
Post a Comment