Christmas is full of poppycock

It is. Whether you know it or not, Christmas is full of poppycock. Angels are the first item on the list that come to mind. What got me all riled up about this was watching the kids at playgroup have their dress rehearsal Christmas pageant. They were dressed to the nines, kings with purple robes and gifts, shepherds, angels with halos. Yes, angels with halos.

When you think angel, you probably picture pudgy cherubs with harps and halos or beautiful blonde women with white robes. Hello. Have you read anything about angels? First of all, the angels we have names of are Michael and Gabriel, not Michaela and Gabrielle. All recorded angels in the Bible are male. I'm not ruling out the possibility of the existence of girl angels, there's just not textual evidence for it.

From what I can tell, they're a bit more fierce than your run of the mill cherub. They shut the mouths of lions, deliver messages, keep watch over people and will fight against the devil at the end of time. I know, I know, girly angels are pretty and gentle and nice. But who would you rather have your back, some girly glowy angel named Celeste or Angelique, or a rock of a sword-bearing angel named Michael? Yeah, thought so.

Another bit of poppycock is the notion that there were three kings. Ok, where does it say there were three kings? I'll save you the time. It doesn't. There were three gifts. Shoot, there could have been twenty of them, all hauling that gold, frankincense and myrrh from the East. I guess for the sake of retail they had to agree on a number, but don't let them fool you into thinking that's a hard and fast Christmas truth.

Can we talk about Mary for a second? How do we know she was Mary meek and mild? How do we know she wasn't more mighty and magnificent? All these Christmas pictures in kid books and Renaissance art make her seem sober, retiring, placid. They also make her white, which is dumb. Maybe she was feisty and fearless and terrified to be carrying a kid but trusting God to give her strength. Can you imagine the fight she and Joseph must have had when he found out she was pregnant? You'll notice in Matthew 1, there's a small time gap between the time that Joseph finds out and when the angel visits him and tells him the craziest story ever.

Now, about these gifts. They weren't Tonka trucks or Baby Einstein DVDs. For Jesus' first Christmas, which happened to be his birthday… which is why we have Christmas in the first place, he got gold and burial spices. Woohoo. Wait. WHAT?! Hold the phone. These kings come all the way from the East, following this star, trudging through sand and camel poo, and they bring gold and burial spices? Cultural difference or prophecy? Mmmmm.

On an Australian note, let's cover the topic of Christmas pudding. This is an ingredient to every traditional British holiday feast, which means it got dragged along to Australia. Americans, Christmas pudding is not what we would call pudding! It's much more along the lines of fruit cake minus gross candied fruit and plus moisture. They serve it in a bowl with whipped cream and hot custard. SO GOOD. 

I'm done being a cynic about Christmas. 

You may return to decking your halls and walls,

LMS