This morning, on my drive to the salon to get my much needed pedicure, I was sipping coffee out of my mom's travel mug and listening to country music, as is my habit. The world through my large tortoise shell sunnies looked pretty good on this clear winter morning. When I drive, I either sing - loudly, pray - fervently, or think thoughts - scatteredly. I happened to be occupied with the last one on my 20 minute drive to foot heaven. I think it was a Casting Crowns song that got me started. The song was all about men manning up to lead and protect their families.
I don't think that's quite fair. We talk about our desire for men to be shepherds of their kids' hearts and protectors and chivalrous lovers of their wives. We talk about our desire for them to be courageous and lead with integrity, to pursue women in an honorable way. You hear songs about men needing to get it together and be the hero.
That's nice, but do you ever hear songs that go like this, "Yeahhhhh, whoaaaaaa, women, we just need to be more encouraginggggg and less domineeeeeringgggggg, learn something about suuuubmisssion..." Heavens to betsy, you'd have the sexist police all over your case. Somehow man-bashing is fine and socially acceptable, but don't you dare call women to up their game. Don't even think about mentioning submission.
AH. I just used the s word. Yes, I did. Feminists everywhere have just blacklisted me, but that's what I was thinking about this morning. It's all well and good for Columbus to say, "Hey guys, I'm going to go sail to India, see ya" but he needs a crew. It's all well and good for us to say, "Hey guys, go man up, be all you can be, lead, protect, be Prince Charming every day," but they need a crew.
There's another side to this human equation. US! Surely we have a job too? It doesn't make sense for guys to be off saving small children from burning buildings and combating corruption while we sit and chatter about all the things they aren't doing. As it turns out, this job of being awesome women comes with instructions! Who knew?! Check it out.
I don't think that's quite fair. We talk about our desire for men to be shepherds of their kids' hearts and protectors and chivalrous lovers of their wives. We talk about our desire for them to be courageous and lead with integrity, to pursue women in an honorable way. You hear songs about men needing to get it together and be the hero.
That's nice, but do you ever hear songs that go like this, "Yeahhhhh, whoaaaaaa, women, we just need to be more encouraginggggg and less domineeeeeringgggggg, learn something about suuuubmisssion..." Heavens to betsy, you'd have the sexist police all over your case. Somehow man-bashing is fine and socially acceptable, but don't you dare call women to up their game. Don't even think about mentioning submission.
AH. I just used the s word. Yes, I did. Feminists everywhere have just blacklisted me, but that's what I was thinking about this morning. It's all well and good for Columbus to say, "Hey guys, I'm going to go sail to India, see ya" but he needs a crew. It's all well and good for us to say, "Hey guys, go man up, be all you can be, lead, protect, be Prince Charming every day," but they need a crew.
There's another side to this human equation. US! Surely we have a job too? It doesn't make sense for guys to be off saving small children from burning buildings and combating corruption while we sit and chatter about all the things they aren't doing. As it turns out, this job of being awesome women comes with instructions! Who knew?! Check it out.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”... But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
- Genesis 2:18-23
Catch that? Not just, "it is not good that the man should be alone" everyone knows that part, but "I will make him a helper fit for him." Hmmm... why do you think God would make Adam a helper? Maybe because he needed HELP? I don't mean that in a demeaning way to guys, but they need help! We are quick to pour a pot of boiling criticism over others' actions (or lack of them) instead of taking responsibility for our own.
Are you keeping the men around you from being what God has called them to be by reminding them of their failures instead of their successes or whining about their shortcomings compared to all that God calls them to be? CUT IT OUT. Yes, hold them to high standards, but hold yourself to high standards too. Don't expect them to fulfill their job if you're giving no attention to yours. How can they be the best version of themselves if you're giving them no help and in some cases, hurting the process?
And don't give me that feminist trash-ola about women being equal in leadership skills, deserving of kudos, just as capable and intelligent blah blah blah. My best friend is a mechanical engineer. I know women are smart and capable. So be smart and capable and help a brother out. Use that finesse and acute instinct to uplift, encourage and empower. Stop tromping all over men in your talented dainty champagne stilettos. Watch the power of your words when you point out things they're good at. Let them know you trust them. Submission isn't a state of inaction and limp noodleness. It's just a requirement if you're ever going to dance with someone successfully.
Love to my girls and hope to my boys,
Little Miss Sunshine
P.S. As an addendum, courtesy of my friend, Caitlin, here's more food for thought on the limits of submission, worth your time - http://www.worldviewchurch.org/worldview-challenge/1078-women-stop-submitting-to-men
P.S. As an addendum, courtesy of my friend, Caitlin, here's more food for thought on the limits of submission, worth your time - http://www.worldviewchurch.org/worldview-challenge/1078-women-stop-submitting-to-men
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