Dear friends, sorry it has been so long since I've written. In other news, I have decided what I want for Christmas. *drum roll, please*
1. Boyfriend
2. Lint roller
3. Headlamp
4. Rings, big, gaudy ones that make my long fingers look not so long
5. Knife sharpener
Now you may applaud that I have succeeded in completing this task before the first of December. Thank you.
Anticipating a mixture of bewilderment and backlash from you, my dear friends, I am prepared to explain myself. Firstly, the boyfriend. I think it's about time. I haven't been on a date in ages, and I've had enough of being single. It's fun and all for a while, and I've had quite a hayday, but now I'm done.
When I mentioned this to my mother over the phone while delivering my Christmas list, she asked how I planned on getting a boyfriend for Christmas. I haven't quite worked that out yet, but I'll keep you posted. I'm quite picky, but also full of hope. Besides, there's a kind of romance about Christmas. That might work in my favor. Lots of events, lots of people to meet at Christmas parties, even Jenny Harper's wedding to go to... I'm not entirely without ideas. Even distressed damsels have to figure out how to get themselves distressed in the first place.
The second item on my list, which is without sentimentality, but full of class. Do you ever see important, or just well dressed people with lint on their blue suits? I think not. I don't have a blue suit, but I do own a pair of blue trousers that happen to get rather linty when I wash them with my yellow hoodie. If I were particular, I would separate my lights and darks and all that, but only people with an enormous amount of laundry can carry off such a feat when living by themselves. Instead of walking around looking like Big Bird, bespeckled with yellow fuzzies, I'd rather delint myself and look presentable.
Headlamp. You do not know how many times in the last 6 months I have thought to myself, I should've bought that headlamp on sale! Who has enough hands to carry a flashlight, open your toothpaste, squish it onto your toothbrush and brush your teeth? That's only basic survival, you can forget about clambering through slippery dark caves.
Rings. Fingers full of rings. I think it fitting for people of my occupation, age and socioeconomic level to wear interesting jewelry. It needn't be expensive, only interesting. As my fingers are long and almost embarrassingly spidery, I find bulky rings to be a helpful finger mask.
If you cook at all, you know what a hazard dull knives can be. You think I misspoke and meant sharp knives. No, indeed! Dull knives are wildly dangerous. You try to cut an onion, slice with all your might because your knife is dull and off comes your finger instead of an onion ring. Oops. Guess I should have sharpened that knife before it cost me my finger. Not only is it dangerous, it's terribly tedious, and I do not like things that are tedious.
So that is my Christmas list. I have a small regret that it's not filled with romantic things like volumes of Frost's poetry or new colored pencils, but it will do.
Much love,
Georgia Delaney Hawthorne
1. Boyfriend
2. Lint roller
3. Headlamp
4. Rings, big, gaudy ones that make my long fingers look not so long
5. Knife sharpener
Now you may applaud that I have succeeded in completing this task before the first of December. Thank you.
Anticipating a mixture of bewilderment and backlash from you, my dear friends, I am prepared to explain myself. Firstly, the boyfriend. I think it's about time. I haven't been on a date in ages, and I've had enough of being single. It's fun and all for a while, and I've had quite a hayday, but now I'm done.
When I mentioned this to my mother over the phone while delivering my Christmas list, she asked how I planned on getting a boyfriend for Christmas. I haven't quite worked that out yet, but I'll keep you posted. I'm quite picky, but also full of hope. Besides, there's a kind of romance about Christmas. That might work in my favor. Lots of events, lots of people to meet at Christmas parties, even Jenny Harper's wedding to go to... I'm not entirely without ideas. Even distressed damsels have to figure out how to get themselves distressed in the first place.
The second item on my list, which is without sentimentality, but full of class. Do you ever see important, or just well dressed people with lint on their blue suits? I think not. I don't have a blue suit, but I do own a pair of blue trousers that happen to get rather linty when I wash them with my yellow hoodie. If I were particular, I would separate my lights and darks and all that, but only people with an enormous amount of laundry can carry off such a feat when living by themselves. Instead of walking around looking like Big Bird, bespeckled with yellow fuzzies, I'd rather delint myself and look presentable.
Headlamp. You do not know how many times in the last 6 months I have thought to myself, I should've bought that headlamp on sale! Who has enough hands to carry a flashlight, open your toothpaste, squish it onto your toothbrush and brush your teeth? That's only basic survival, you can forget about clambering through slippery dark caves.
Rings. Fingers full of rings. I think it fitting for people of my occupation, age and socioeconomic level to wear interesting jewelry. It needn't be expensive, only interesting. As my fingers are long and almost embarrassingly spidery, I find bulky rings to be a helpful finger mask.
If you cook at all, you know what a hazard dull knives can be. You think I misspoke and meant sharp knives. No, indeed! Dull knives are wildly dangerous. You try to cut an onion, slice with all your might because your knife is dull and off comes your finger instead of an onion ring. Oops. Guess I should have sharpened that knife before it cost me my finger. Not only is it dangerous, it's terribly tedious, and I do not like things that are tedious.
So that is my Christmas list. I have a small regret that it's not filled with romantic things like volumes of Frost's poetry or new colored pencils, but it will do.
Much love,
Georgia Delaney Hawthorne
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