Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think "Um, who are you, and what are you doing in my mirror space?!" Maybe it's just where I am in life and in the world, but sometimes I just feel like a million different people.
Today my outfit consists of Adidas socks, tennis shoes, jeans (that are wet on the cuffs because the weather is abominably contrary and wet), my OBU intramural softball t-shirt, a side ponytail and a trucker hat that is sitting on my head crooked and backwards, oh and my nails are currently Sally Hansen "#250 Lightening". Then there's my slightly hipster slouchy cardi with big dramatic sunglasses look, my tropical wear bold prints and Costa Rican earrings from Liz look, and the black sundress with the narrow belt and pearls look. I also have my outdoorsy hiker chic in Chacos and diva in heels and wide leg trouser looks. I mean… WHAT? Who do you think you are?
It doesn’t stop there. Oh no. Even with my friends I'm different people. My best friend, Zanna, told me once that I'm a chameleon, and I just adapt to whoever I'm with. If I'm with the ranch cousins, I'm Cowgirl Sunshine. If I'm with the Compass crew, I'm Outdoor Sunshine. If it's Han - Dance Party Sunshine, Liz - Change the World Sunshine, SG - Tea and Scones Sunshine, Katie - Theatrical Sunshine, Rach - Coffee Time Chat Sunshine, Chez - Slightly Hippie Spontaneous Sunshine, Princess Punkin - Politics and Fashion Sunshine… you'd think I was Barbie or Baskin Robins ice cream or something.
Granted, there are some things that don't change. I'll tell you I love Jesus and cows and dancing whether I'm in a little black dress or having a mud war… but do I need to get a life? Are there rules about these things? Once again, I'm playing in the adult league and no one has handed me the rule book! Maybe that should be my next writing project if one doesn't exist already - writing a rule book for surviving in the real world.
Today I went to the library with SG. We love the library. It's our second home. I went to get a book and SG went to study. Now, when I say get a book it sounds simple. There are books everywhere, so you should just be able to pick one off the shelf and walk out the door. Mission accomplished. As it turns out, it's such a difficult task! After you've read the likes of Lewis and Lenski and Dickens and Austen, there's no shortage of high standards. I want a book that will woo me, bring me flowers, tell me the truth and be so enthralling that I hate it for making me want to spend all my time with it.
I wandered through the aisles aimlessly, reading the back of a book here, checking the title of a classic there, and always looking for cool covers. I'm such a sucker for cover designs. I have a hard time reading a book if I don't like the cover. Just as soon as I'd find an interesting one, I'd find that it was about some person having an affair or being abused by someone or something. Can I just have a good novel without all the gory sex details please and thank you? I walked home with a 400 page biography of Martin Luther. I'm not entirely satisfied, but it's won awards, so we'll see how we go.
On my walk home, one of those awkward things in life happened. You know how there's an unwritten list of awkward things in life? Well, this is one of them. I was walking up the hill and a girl crossed from the other side of the street to my side, walking the same direction as me. Our paces aligned and I was walking a couple yards behind her. AWKWARD WALKWARD! What are you supposed to do? Just walk slower? Walk faster and pass her? Walk faster and then slow down when you get to beside her and strike up a conversation about why she's carrying yellow wrapping paper? Being ambitious and competitive, I went for option 2… AND FAILED! I sped up to the point where we were walking beside each other, but then she sped up a little and the hill was getting steeper by the stride, so I relinquished my lead and fell back, turning to option 1. Ohhhhh awkward things in life. I think I'll write a blog post about that.
Much love,
LMS
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